Pointless, prefabricated mists of consciousness,
Steam off of maddening, trivial thought processes,
Gridlocked inspiration amidst inane repetition,
Asphyxiated by the rampant cuckoo of monotony.
Drudgery perfected and mockingly called ‘life’,
Tasteless minutes leave the hours feeling empty,
Creating a black hole of persistent restlessness,
Sucking constantly like an infant at a dry breast.
Humdrum existence tries to raise its weary head,
Straining hopelessly to attract celestial attention,
But winged messengers exist only at the graveside,
Into whose concrete hands I place my final farewell.
Author notes
prompt: Concrete angels and suicide notes
Here goes. Another write thats a little different from many of my others.
For those who don't know, a Cuckoo lays its eggs in the nests of other birds. When hatched its larger offspring take over.
A contest entry
- PIF Do Angels commit suicide? by Danneh.
375 points, ended May 19, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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great poem
Love the poem has great meaning to it
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I have to be honest, I think that I am a pretty smart person. But I had really had to think about the meaning of this poem (thanks for explaining the cuckoo
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This has to be a rung above most of the poems I have read on this site mainly for all those words you use and how they are situated.
Good job
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"Pointless, prefabricated mists of consciousness," that i think is my favorite part. i also like the diversity of the vocabulary in this poem. thank you i really liked it, keep writing.
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I like what all your images here have brought to mind, or then again perhaps not, not the things, but the imagery is excellent and so was this poem.
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It's been a long time since I've heard a great "beentheredonethat" rant. Especially with imagery and wording as good as yours.
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This is really amzing, so detailed!
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Great Read!
You have a good way with words. I see no least favorite parts. You are ready to publish a book!
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I think that this is different but I really like it you did a great job thanks for sharing and goodluck in your contest much love always
CJ
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