1. Have you ever had sex with a loaded gun?
2. If jelly beans were poisonous, would you still eat some?
3. Do you know what a starving child tastes like?
4. Do you think the Queen Of England looks like a bag lady?
5. Have you ever pissed in a church pew.
6. Do you think Bob Newhart is funny?
7. Would you rather be Lavern or Shirley?
8. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
9. Have you ever crushed a small animal in the palm of your hand?
10. Have you thought about killing the nicest person you know?
A contest entry
- Q&A Anything You want to know about me. by Nighttime angel.
875 points, ended May 20, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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1. Have you ever had sex with a loaded gun?
My sex pistol is always loaded... chix love it.
2. If jelly beans were poisonous, would you still eat some?
Nope, just feed 'em to my liberal friends.
3. Do you know what a starving child tastes like?
No, but if Obama gets elected we all might find out.
4. Do you think the Queen Of England looks like a bag lady?
I think Clinton looked like a bagman for some organized crime family, but I'm not sure about the queen.
5. Have you ever pissed in a church pew.
I've not.
6. Do you think Bob Newhart is funny?
Mildly so. I always tuned in for the babe Suzanne Pleshette.
7. Would you rather be Lavern or Shirley?
Lavern... she wore the pants in that family.
8. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
What? eh?
9. Have you ever crushed a small animal in the palm of your hand?
Why when there are mousetraps?
10. Have you thought about killing the nicest person you know?
No, but I'm sure as hell positive they've thought about offing me.
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Okies, I'll do it!
1. Have you ever had sex with a loaded gun?
Nooo.. with them in the house maybe, but not held against me!
2. If jelly beans were poisonous, would you still eat some?
If they still gave me the sugar rush.. maybe! lol
3. Do you know what a starving child tastes like?
Now come on, that's just sick bro!
4. Do you think the Queen Of England looks like a bag lady?
I do!! And that is very anti-disestablishment of me, cause I come from British stock!!
5. Have you ever pissed in a church pew.
I've only ever sat on one twice, for a wedding and a funeral... and, no!
6. Do you think Bob Newhart is funny?
No, I can barely even remember who he is!
7. Would you rather be Lavern or Shirley?
I think they were both a bit weird to be honest, neither! I'd rather be Mary Tyler Moore.. haha
8. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
Deaf... most definitely!! You can learn to lip read.. blind would be so much worse!
9. Have you ever crushed a small animal in the palm of your hand?
Does a fly count? lol
10. Have you thought about killing the nicest person you know?
Actually no, I've thought about killing her husband tho!!
Yup, all done, not so hard after all
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1. Have you ever had sex with a loaded gun? Hmmm no, but it sounds kinky! :D
2. If jelly beans were poisonous, would you still eat some? Nopers.
3. Do you know what a starving child tastes like? Bony.
4. Do you think the Queen Of England looks like a bag lady? Yes, I've seen her... I'm British remember :P
5. Have you ever pissed in a church pew. Nope... But been very close to it.
6. Do you think Bob Newhart is funny? Who is he?
7. Would you rather be Lavern or Shirley? Don't know who they are but their names sound old anyway...
8. Would you rather be blind or deaf? I am partially blind anyway so lets go with blind.
9. Have you ever crushed a small animal in the palm of your hand? No, that's meanness.
10. Have you thought about killing the nicest person you know? Suicide is murder, I wouldn't do that :) just kidding, maybe as I envy them hehe.XD interesting questions bro! x
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6 He had a TV show running for years and years here. Everyone on the program was at least a little funny. But not him. He was the straight man. Never liked him. He might be dead now.
7 Another TV show. One of the spin offs from Happy Days I think. Lavern was famous for drinking Pepsi mixed with milk!
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1. Ermmm I can't say that I have ever had access to a loaded gun...
2. Ewwww noooo not Jelly beans... they're icky!
3. Hmm I've never been inclined to eat a child let alone a starving child so I'd have to say no...
4. Ermm not really... I don't think so... maybe...
5. No... not that I remember and I think I'd remember doing something like that...
6. Quite possibly but seeing as I've never heard of him...
7. Who now?
8. ermmm....Deaf I think...
9. Yep and I'd kill them all over again :@
10. Ermmm.... quite possibly I'm not quite sure I remember... lol
Strange questions but eh... yanno...
Love you big bro xx -
1) Not that I remember but if I was drunk well I would probably not remember.
2)Maybe the pink ones lol
3)No not really children are not in my diet so I shall pass on that thank you though
4)Yes I do she looks like she collects much on her what does she need with all that stuff
5)No I cant say that I have done that recently lol
6)No I do not think that he is funny
7)Lavern
8)I would rather be deaf because you can learn a new language and if you were blind you could not learn to see.
9)You are talking about me do you honestly think that I am going to hold a bug in my hand lol
10)And the thought has crossed my mind a time or two
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These questions are AWESOME!
I'm going to answer them for the hell of it
1. I cannot say that I have
2. I don't think that I would. I'm not fond of Jelly beans but once you tell me i can't have them, I'll want them.
3. Nope.
4. I've never really looked too close but i don't think so.
5. No I haven't.
6. Bob Newhart is a classic, man. Of course he's hilarious!
7. You know, I'm not sure.
8. I'm glaring at this question. I hate it.
I refuse to answer it.
9. Yes. Now when I say yes, I'm referring to insects.
10. I indeed have.
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lol brother!@
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sheesh! what is it with the questions?
nice questions, but what about the one you asked me:
"Will you join my cult?"
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1. Have you ever had sex with a loaded gun?
no can't say I have.. not even a glimpse in my mind would that thought ever cross.
2. If jelly beans were poisonous, would you still eat some?
no I hate jelly beans. YUCKY!! BLAH!!
3. Do you know what a starving child tastes like?
not inclined to find out.. though... never mind not touching that..
4. Do you think the Queen Of England looks like a bag lady?
well to be honest she kind of does..
5. Have you ever pissed in a church pew.
no can't say I have..
6. Do you think Bob Newhart is funny?
Yes
7. Would you rather be Lavern or Shirley?
Laverne
8. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
blind- I need to say that I couldn't live without listening to music. though neither are good choices, but the lesser would be being blind.
9. Have you ever crushed a small animal in the palm of your hand?
does squishing a mole count?? I was 9 when I did that.
10. Have you thought about killing the nicest person you know?
no..
I love these questions you did a great job with these.
kat
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LOL... love your questions!!! I aint even gonna dare answer some of those!!!
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oooohh come on Jacks just answer the questions, they are only questions... its not like anyone is going to tell....
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Oh wow... I was thinking you would. Boo hoo
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