slightly
salty
tear
[jerk (stain{ed})]
rice
paper
lost it's
touch
and what i shed
falls
resting where it lands
be it skin
like a snake
as though i am the serpent
instead of eve
your honesty
is
refreshing
crisp
and brisk
and other adjectives
that i would use
to describe iced tea
but it is not sweet
and it is not bitter
i try to swallow
it
back
the words
the crying
jerkin strangles
lends
strength to the lump
and it exhausts
and i wish that it were caused
by something greater than myself
i harbor resentment
that even your thoughtfulness
fuels
i laugh to see the
chivalry fall
deadened
weakened
gallant efforts
failed
to impress
and i hope
you choke
on attempts to be polite
and trip as you try to hold doors open
Comments
-
Haha. Biting. Caustic. Always, you.
I love this!
I especially love the details - comparing the remarks (or their effects to tea), but not "bitter" or "sweet", and also the strangles of jerkin making the lump in your throat more difficult to swallow... too much!
You are wonderful.
-
well done. had me sucked in the whole time. I like your style here, your honesty and uniqueness is refreshing. also really strong ending.
over all a great write and there for a great read.
thanks for your comments
Creatress
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