would You stifle the cortex betwixt corseted layers...
You, the last Man to sleep alone tonight
do You hold Your ego in Your hand,
feel the burn of Your secret heart
judges and prophets sigh
but who else
would know?
Author notes
(Duette)-- a primarily self-created type usually written:
in free or blank verse, mildly cryptic or obscure in content that concludes with an open question or statement.
*Form contains 5-7 lines with numbers of words or syllables in this line sequence:
first - 9 syllables words:
second - 8
third- 7-8
fourth-6-7
fifth- 3-4
(if 6-7 lines)
sixth- 2-3
seventh- 1-2
© Zealberry Duette
The implemented A-Frame, and I wasn't sure if this was supposed to be light-hearted or what, so I just went with the flow. I tried obscure, and a bit of cryptic.
A contest entry
- Write A Duette - LAST WEEK! Readers are required! by CookieZeal.
975 points, ended May 16, 10 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Obscure and cryptic work, but that is good, for that's when my little noggin can go to work.
Apparently Cookie Zeal knows what I know, that you are a talented poet.
I don't know if I agree with her interpretation because frankly, I didn't understand what she wrote, but she's smarter than me so that isn't surprising.
We can twist and turn this as we wish and come up with a 100 meanings, and each would reveal as much about us as it would your poem. You capitalized "You" each time, a hint about God maybe? So I'm thinking, it's a fellow, who is oppressive, demanding, with a God complex, I know a lot of those types.
There that is interpretation two.
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I love it! Everything about it screams the form I intended with the right amount of obscurity.
I interpret this as man's braun versus the upper authorities whose prophecies have already been fulfilled.
You've used superb language art and nestled it
nicely in the form.
Excellent ending. Impressive, really.
Suggestions:
I would leave out the two question marks and only use it at the end.
Also, please put all 7 lines together for the sake of readablity. When/if you should edit, please reply to this comment only and not a PM for the sake of anonymity.
thank you so much for entering!!!
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