The smallest cry
is tossed against the largest wall
and falling to the ground
lost in the treading of feet
that walk the edges of brick.
And the songs of the city
are filled with the dust of the ages
sung to those who are endless silent
though their mouths are open with
the smallest cry.
Author notes
Another reason why most of my poems get thrown away. Because I have no idea what I meant when I wrote it.
Comments
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I intentionally write to be interpretive. I don't explain my poetry or the metaphors. If your interpretation of a poem of mine is the exact opposite of what I was thinking, yet you took something from it, if it meant something to you, then I'd say your interpretation was dead on accurate. It doesn't matter. An effective poem is one that is enjoyed. Felt. Plain and simple.
"The smallest cry" like the little things in life are what help create the bigger picture.
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I really like this piece. And, I guess, if the writer forgets its meaning that just leaves it up for further interpretation. Which is not bad at all.
It's a bit rough, could use a little word-rearranging and adding in it.
Original: "The smallest cry
is tossed against the largest wall
and falling to the ground
lost in the treading of feet
that walk the edges of brick.
And the songs of the city
are filled with the dust of the ages
sung to those who are endless silent
though their mouths are open with
the smallest cry. "
Suggestion: "The smallest cry
is tossed against the largest wall
and, falling to the ground, is
lost in the treading of feet
walking on the edges of brick.
And the songs of the city
are filled with the dust of ages
sung by those who are endlessly silent
though their mouths are open with
the smallest cry."
That's just how I would edit it, to make the flow a little smoother. NOt saying you should edit it that way, just showing you what you could use and how you could use it.
Makes me think of History. How does who made it are so quickly tossed aside. Everyday puts the past further from memory. In cliche, we don't learn and we take the same routes they once did. And seeing how the opening and ending lines are the same.. it shows how this cycle never really ends.
It'll always continue.
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