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Submission

 

 

I stand on guilt's cliff,

a prisoner to my own weakness,

yet fighting it none

Darkness seeps my sorrow

 

In the brilliance of sentient light,

my own ambivalence bores my soul,

shaming my awareness of forced

emotion to the surface

 

Submission silences me

On bended knee...

... I plunge into penance

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Pic, 50 words
Artist credit: http://designingdivas.deviantart.com/art/The-Dive-85210569

(abstract I know.. you need to be in my head to get it I think.. sigh..)

In a list

A contest entry

: , Your review:

Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
: no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 33 of 33

  • CinfullyDelicious gold member
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    God another pic I missed...man what have I been doing lol...

    how you started it alone is just deep already..I stand on guilt's cliff

    I get where your coming from with this one...only cause I know you, some past etc...I really felt this sis, so well written but so much more then that

    Congrats on the silver


    u
    Cin


  • stavykm gold member
    May 18

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding

    Wow this was a very dark write yet written so well. You just amaze me sweet sister. Your poetry is outstanding and this is one of my favorites. You do total justice to that picture. Congradulations on the silver sweet one.
    Much Love
    Kelle Marie
    stavkm


  • Weltt gold member
    May 18

    Edit | Reply

    Silky smooth!

    I don't know what to say about this one...kinda left in awe here. I would have gave this 10 golds. I was already loving it as I was reading it and then the ending blew me away. wow..... thank you for sharing this!


  • PerVirtuous gold member
    May 17
    Edit | Reply
    My my my... this poem is brutally disingenuous. That is very hard to do. You have talent.


  • Valley Girl silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This is very sad and dark hun! You really have painted a picture full of sorrow and helplessness. Great write! Congrats on the Silver. (hugs)


  • crimsondew silver member
    May 15
    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    you did it again..wonderful dark poem dear..Congrats on the silver!


  • Wayne Leon Learmond gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply

    Stunning Piece

    Wonderful piece of work here. I can see why this won a trophy. It was well-deserved. Kiwi I could see that you put you all into this piece. It is so sad, it is dark and took me away somewhere else, with you. Keep writing my friend. You have great talent.

    Love always
    Wayne Leon
    xx


  • LadyDementia gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on the silver!

    Wow this is awesome, it rolls effortlessly. A very dark place to be, beautifully portrayed. Fab write hunni

  • SoulWhispher
    May 14
    Edit | Reply
    Congradulations on the silver most deserving, this is truly a great poem. Love JOhn


  • brightsmylesxx
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    This is fantastic! Your words flow so smoothly. Congrats on the silver!

    ~ Bright Smyles

  • jasminerose gold member
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant penning!!! Congratulations on winning another beautiful award for that very talented muse!! You are on a roll!!! Loving them all!!
    Linda


  • aboomer
    May 14

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    I would have given this the Gold! But Silver is very nice, also....
    I love the line,
    'I stand on guilt's cliff'....I can so relate to that. And I love the rest of this also!
    Great write!!
    Congrats.


  • Quiet places gold member
    May 14

    Edit | Reply

    Extraordinary!!

    This poem makes one think of the fine line of sanity and the shortness of life. Perfect effect of emotions in this piece. The thoughts of the ones that are not here to explain. Great job on the Silver! Don


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations Jackie on the challis...great words for the prompt...wish I'd thought of them

    All the best...Sue


  • Ravensdark gold member
    May 14
    Edit | Reply
    Quite deeply profound....I am lost in reflection....insprires thought, great poem....


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      May 14
      Edit | Reply
      Indeed my dark lord! For it was written for that purpose... ahhhhh my complicated life and thoughts! lol


  • penman gold member
    May 13
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    What a great creation for the picture. Congratulations on the silver.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    A most poignant and heartfelt penning dear, and congrats on the silver.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • poppa silver member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Another great write....and another trophy...woohoo racking them up..


  • bella-babie
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Wow so deepy beautiful and powerful with your words..
    Loved the ending

    "Submission silences me

    On bended knee...

    ... I plunge into penance"

    Beautiful write hun!! Congrats on the silver

  • solo wisp gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Abstract yes ... need to be in your head? Hmmm ... I'm too biased to answer that.


    2nd stanza is pure expression at it's finest. Love the ending, yes, abstract but I get ya.

    As usual, your experiences shine through!



    Steve


  • jcat gold member
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    Last stanza derves a standing ovation!! Excellent job and thank you for entering my contest

  • SuicidalLover silver member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Wow there sis.... wow. A great choice of words you got. Very deep thoughts stir in my head...ouch! A great write. I wish you luck.
    ~Kystal Angel


  • Mark McNulty
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    For me, Jacks, you've really been rockin' it on your endings lately. Another slam dunk on this one to wrap up such a stirring piece. Excellent job!


  • buffsab99 silver member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply

    Emotional

    This such a sad emotional write. Subbmission into your sorrows seeking penance. Well written my friend, best of luck in this contest


  • Pure Thought silver member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply

    Ignore the last comment

    Now there is a poem, I saw not before.

    WEll written, but I particularly like
    "shaming my awareness of forced
    emotion to the surface"

  • Leila
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    Oh i love it! Especially the ending! Great as always sis xxx


  • Pure Thought silver member
    May 13
    Edit | Reply

    SAY WHAT?

    One minor problem, there is a tidal wave which will catch you just as you complete the 360 degree, inverted double one and 1/2 twist.

    Form is a little loose I give you an 8.


  • jcat gold member
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    Hello?? You gonna come back

  • Cerulean gold member
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    w00t!
1 - 33 of 33