infinity breathing restlessly
kissing the sky
with lips spun from glass
feeling lights' caress
on the cheeks of the cherry-blossom flower
feathery droplets of glittering, molten gold
splashing on specks of dust floating lazily by
coating them with warmth
tickling and happy
genttly painting the tips of
the winds' gentle fingertips
running them through our hair
mockingbirds trilling
draping sugar-spun webs of soft, pastel colors
on the tips of the leaves
resting belly-up on tree branches
life holding up its' head
proud like a peacocks' tail
hiding behind feathers stuck to our eyelashes
still and crackling with static cling
flower patterns gracing the dappled lawns
lacy orchids drawing in the hummingbirds
luring them in with sweet nectar
infinitessimally infinity breathes
busy people
hunched and apathetic
nothing left in materials' world
greed and self-satisfaction ruling
fair-skinned as pollution smothers natural illumination
softly woven music crashed and shattered
duct-taped back together in a sad imitation
of lifes' flawless beauty
gentle, lazy, and warm
in some place far away from here
'here' where it's cold, and dark, and claustrophobic
the air murky, smelling of smoke
to polluted to breathe safely
yet we don't have a choice
hiding behind snatches of life
handfulls of mottled, dirty, shed feathers of city birds
brightening up our existence but not truly appreciating it
pastels bright and industrialized
too bright
making my eyes hurt and sting
i miss the real life
where love graces softly, warming, safe
and hidden.
A contest entry
- handful of feathers by exalted.
1750 points, ended May 27, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
you should probably break this into more stanzas, i started zoning out a bit by the end. if you wanted to bring out the contrast between the city and garden-ish sections like you have it now, you could do a I. and II. above them instead. just a suggestion, that's how i would do it at least
i think you used the word "light" too much, i counted it four times. also, you showed a lot more than you told, which is good but i felt like there was an overwhelming amount of description and no story.
great imagery though. really, you have fantastic images. i like the line near the end of "mottled, dirty, shed feathers of city birds". thanks for the entry
-cassidy

