I dreamt of you the other night
Walking past the haze beneath
Left me feeling so cold and deep
Through glass doors that cut my heart right through
Was it yesterday you told me that you were done with me?
Or was it the last winter season?
I still find it hard to let you go
'Cause those feelings you had never shown.
Walking past the hazel nut tree
Brings forth feelings deep rooted in me
Was it yesterday the last time we kissed?
Or was it the last winter season?
I still hang on to the love we once shared
Hoping and wishing that we were frozen in time
I see you, feel you right in front of me
Your face is deeply embedded in my memory
Your memory lingers deep within me
Stirring up feelings engraved in my heart
Oh my heart bleeds, yearns for the voice that stirs my tired soul
My weary heart cries out-
come back!come back! come back!
come back! come back!
-SILENCE-
Author notes
i'm just writing down my best friend's thoughts when she was all heart-broken cuz of her guy. That was the worst i had seen of her. a REAL sad sight. took her years to get over him.
comtest rules -"Pickle cheezballz"
A contest entry
- Write Your Heart Out by stargazer91.
300 points, ended May 19, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Goodbye My Lover by steal-my-scene.
600 points, ended May 23, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love,Less, Lies, Mess. by Rachel21.
600 points, ended May 22, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what is your first impression?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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this was a good poem
i liked "I still hang on to the love we once shared
Hoping and wishing that we were frozen in time" -
This is a good write. I enjoy lines 5-12 the most. Good luck.
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wow
good write lots of feeling
good luck -
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thanks!
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Excellent
Very emotional and heartfelt, great job
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thank you so much
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very powerful ending... this whole piece is full of a deep loss and sadness. well done.
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thanks alot
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You forgot your name in the Notes, but I think I'm going to let it slide cuz 1. Almost noone else is doing it and 2. cuz its such an awesome write. I like free verse as much as I like rhyming poetry (if not more) and I especially like it when the free verse is especially good. Great, great job.
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Hey!
oops!(about the name thing) my name's Jerusha.
yeah, this doesn't actually rhyme or anything, its more of free verse. Great that you liked it!
Thanks alot.
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