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Nothing hidden

I stand here before you
Naked to the bone
Seeking simple judgement
From you and you alone

With eyes full of wisdom
But youthful vigour too
And colour than flows from deepest green
Through yellow and into blue

My smile, although rare
Conveys such deep emotion
From sarcasm and humour
To complete love and devotion

Imagination without bounds
Often dreaming away the day
Contemplating some fantasy
In a kingdom far away

My body isn't perfect
But it's not without attraction
The curves that I possess,
Receive quite a good reaction

As I creep toward my birthday

I am finally starting to see

What a truly beautiful person

The Goddess has made me 

 

Author notes

As requested: Lily Skie.

I saw this contest and relished the chance to try something new. I really struggle to see myself in a good light most of the time, so this was kind of hard to get into, although I hope you like the outcome.

A contest entry

Contest entry. What do you think to it?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Galaxy2
    October 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful...
    realistic approach...
    brilliabt, honey!
    Kisses all over...
    Galaxy2


  • written-in-ink
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow


    this is amaing you have no idea!

    'I stand here before you
    Naked to the bone
    Seeking simple judgement
    From you and you alone'

    that was amazing
    i know about being judged[ i cant really take it]
    but i do say that to a few people


    'My body isn't perfect
    But it's not without attraction
    The curves that I possess,
    Receive quite a good reaction'

    hahah
    so true!
    hahahah

  • Madazahatta
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This really spoke to me, Thanx


  • nature mithya
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Your poem is wonderful.

    You walk in grace through your words and form.
    However when you should show yourself like a goddess you seem to walk away from the poem.
    Just saying goddess does not make you one in Her or the eye of the reader.
    So try to see your self as a goddess and rewrite the last stanza as though you were really one real smart GODDESS.
    BE One.
    Congrats.


  • Jasmine Rayne
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this poem and am glad it came as a challenge to you. It reminds me of myself in a way... Here's what I liked best:

    "My body isn't perfect
    But it's not without attraction
    The curves that I possess,
    Receive quite a good reaction"
    This part makes me smile because of two things. 1) It isn't conceited or negative. It just simply states that you may not be 100% comfortable with yourself, but you still like yourself the way you are which is WONDERFUL! 2) It reminds me of my good friend Katie about the "curves" lol. ^_^

    "My smile, although rare
    Conveys such deep emotion
    From sarcasm and humour
    To complete love and devotion"
    I agree we all have such depth when we choose to smile. Such a simple action can cause wonders.

    I liked the rhyme scheme. Most people can't do it well, but you've done it wonderfully.

    Thank you for your entry. Good luck in the contest. ^_^







    -Lily♥


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice. Good rhyme and flow.


  • MzObvious
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Nice.

    This poem is very ugh i dont know! The words you used were perfect! I really enjoyed reading this.


    • Ludovica
      May 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Perfect? Thank you! I am so glad you enjoyed reading this, having someone enjoy my work always makes me want to write more.


  • A-Daisy-Among-Roses
    May 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Love It

    This poem is absolutly fabulous. From reading that i would find it hard to believe that you have a hard time seeing yourself in good light, but i understand the struggle to. People always say that we are are own worst critic and it is so completely true.


    • Ludovica
      May 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for such kind words, and I'm glad you liked it. Hopefully Lily Skie shall share your opinion.

1 - 10 of 10