Yesterday was Grandad’s birthday,
a tired old man we all forgot, sitting
too close the a black and white TV,
singing along with the radio hymns.
He wore his Sunday best every week,
Harris tweed and gold hunter – a sidesman for
over sixty years and I was so proud.
He’d talk to anyone on the bus until
she found him babbling in his chair,
dribbling like a baby, his mind
dancing back to 1923.
He forgot who we were, I hated
the hollow faces in the home,
catatonic and rambling in their
tired histories. Sometimes he’d sing
Daisy Daisy, burp and fart, giggling like
the boy he must have been
and we’d look away, embarrassed,
fingers crossed he wouldn’t start peeing in
the garden again, I was so ashamed.
My Grandad, just another old infant
waiting and waiting
for another day to die.
A contest entry
- Anything you want by MrCrepsley.
600 points, ended September 10, 2008, 188 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I can relate very easily to how you describe the Grandad in your poem. Working in Aged Care I see instances as you describe frequently.
Senility, Dementia, Alzerimer’s all so destructive to a person’s dignity.
Your words are true, your emotions are real, regardless of how they make you feel personally.
If I might suggest you remove the ‘the’ from Line 3 as it trips a little there.
Bravo to you for writing this. ~ Von -
This is truly sad, and it shows how we as people judge those who have no control over their actions.
You had no reason to be embarrassed, but you felt shamed anyways.
Truly a good write, thank you for sharing. -
Pretty good stuff--you did a great job of painting a picture of your grandad; I really liked the flow too (the have been/garden again rhyme works really well aesthetically). I was a little surprised/turned off by the last line--in my opinion, its bleakness doesn't fit well with the sweetness of the rest of the poem. If you're going for a little shock value, then it works. I just think it could stand to be adjusted.
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aaaw this is sad. i know what you mean. its not the best way to feel, but i would be emberrassed too. idk why. i guess cuz old ppl freak me out anyways. thats horrible of me. oh well. fantastic write.
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I had tears in my eyes here. I've worked with Alzeheimers patients and know hoe it effects the families as well as the victim. Good job on telling this. Pen on...
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...wow...almost cried this is sad really sad..I would hate to be ashamed of my grandad...I would be ashamed of being ashamed....good poem thought think you for entering
~*~An Unwritten Truth~*~ -
"too close the a black and white TV," - this line read off to you? It does to me. It's that middle part that confuses me.
Yes, when we're born we are wrinkled and ugly, and those of us who live to old age -- when we die, we are wrinkled and ugly.
So is life.
A nice poem that you have written here.
-Nam
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Personally this did not make me cry at all. this is good, but not what I am looking for. you will be DQ, sorry
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Heh... I do enjoy this very much. I happend to look because my grandfather passed away a year ago in April. It brings back good memories.
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Awww, old age does it but surely we love them grandads & grandmoms for being so grand aye? A beautiful dedication, this! Thank you for your entry!
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