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Eyes

Eyes windows to the soul
longing to get lost in yours
but looking up to find
the weight of your gaze
caressing my face, my curves
drinking me in
as your mind wanders
under my skin


I can not explain
the feeling under your stare
the spell you weave
looking inside, not at, not through
intense yet gentle you begin
to probe the folds of my mind
search into my psyche
looking for my desires
secret and untamed


I want to look away
but I cannot
I lower my lashes
as if they provide a veil
of modesty
yet curiousas to what
you find so amusing


My cheeks flush
my pulse quickens
As your unyielding gaze
continues deeper
and the corners of your
mouth twitch upward
in approval
in a perverse sense of delight
at the outward coyness trying
to conceal the awakening passion
hiding inside


Your optical assault
wearing down my defenses
you are learning things
I wanted not to share
you know my weakness
giving nothing of yourself
in return
drawing me out further
from my own curiosity


My cheeks flush deeper as
I feel myself begin to moisten
and bloom beneath your
unwaivering gaze
as now you caress my outer form
again
before probing inward
again
no spoken words
no physical contact
just a tango of looks


Trying again to break the
connection
yet not wanting it to end
the struggle within myself
feeding your hunger
your hunger feeding my
inner struggle
and my passion


I sit rapt and uneasy
as again your weighty gaze
caresses my skin
missing nothing, every freckle
every curve
logged in your mind
your pleasure becoming evermore
evident
as your smile grows


You plunge again
deeper into me
making me quiver inside
the intensity of your
probing
bringing me further
into you
drawing from my core
the darkest desires
and secret longings
yours now to use
for your own pleasure


You break eye contact
leaving me
feeling empty and aching
with need
you sated and fulfilled


Almost ashamed of the
rapture I had begun to
enjoy beneath your silent
interrogation
I realize you are now as
flushed as I
and all in the span of seconds
across the span of a room
I do not even know your name.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • morgana raven Greeters member
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    I should have probably just said no erotica at all. I have had three pieces, that I have read so far and it is a subject where when I read about it, it actually makes me feel sick. This isn't anything terrible with your writing because you used your words well, but the theme and topic I can't stand reading.
    Thanks for entering.
    Laura.

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    July 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your first line alone screams of cliche to me and honestly made me cringe - I have seen it so many times before.

    You're repeating a lot of the filler words where they aren't need - and in general can be removed to help the piece flow better.

    The only other thing is that I would have liked to see more imagery, in here you are telling me exactly what to see and feel without showing me


  • Rose-Quartz
    June 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    A Fantastic Poem

    Gosh this is so good. Inspirational full of emotion and longing with unfulfilled passion. A very beautiful and very well written poem that really draws the reader in. Many Congratulations on the Gold, this is a real winner for me. Well Done !! All my very best wishes from Rose xx


  • SoftlyScreaming
    June 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this took my breath away, like you have no idea.. you have so much to say about something so small like looking into someones eyes.. the emotion, the drive that you put into this piece is amazing.. this is an inspiring piece, this is something i've been looking for for a while now.. the whole poem was fascinating and i absolutly loved the ending.. you are a great artist with words..

  • LadCoberst
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    GREAT!

    This was exciting to read! It definetely deserves to be in the finals list! It felt really intense to read it. When I read it I heard it, as if it was whispered straight to me! The best I have read in a long time!


  • BabyBun silver member
    June 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is the kind of thing I wanted - thanks and good luck


  • Charles Johnson
    May 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great write i really enjoyed it


  • staticgrace
    May 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing!!

    What an incredibly crafted piece of work! I really enjoyed this xx

1 - 8 of 8