Be Real Now...

AIDS,
  Not me…a Latina girl,
Not at this age, I look fine…
Healthy even…
   
Now,
  Why eat this particular piece of
Meatloaf? To continue my life?

It’s a funny thought…life

Why drink, or take my old vitamins,
          Why should I move
                My
      Pinky finger?

And what about God?
        My faithful Christian Jesus?
Buddha?  Am I a spirit?  Or….
          God no…are atheists right?

GOD! GOD! GOD! GOD!
Be real now…

Especially when I’m
  Self-hating,

And I have such a long list of thoughts:
    Flithy
    Unworthy,
    Don’t touch me, I don’t deserve
      To be loved anymore…
    Don’t love me…
    Don’t love me..
      Don’t dare love me..

            GOD! GOd!
                    God!
                          god!
                god
Be real…