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I Can't Breathe

Losing you
I’ve lost it all,
Parts of me;
Incomplete.
I’m empty
Without you there
So empty
Without you there
Baby baby,
Without you there,
I can’t breathe.

Honey, I tried
To run and flee
From all this
Emotion
Feelings
Pain
Tears
I can’t.
I can’t give it up.

Everything we had,
Every little bit,
I miss it like it was our last
And I cherish those memories
Baby baby
Please tell me you think of me.
When the night
Turns so cold
Tell me you think of me.

Hate you,
I want to
I try to
I can’t.
I look upon you with such love
I cry
Scream
Why did you do this to me?

Are there faults
In me
Imbedded so deep
I just can’t reach.
I can’t breathe.
I
Can’t
Breathe.




“For the best”
You say.
How is that so?
When every day without you
Feels like an eternity in
Limbo…

Lie to me.
Tell me you love me
Tell me I’m all you’ve ever wanted
I can’t breathe
I won’t breathe
Until you do.


Save me.
Lie to me.
Make me feel
What I miss feeling.
That special feeling I only got from you.
Say things, baby,
Whether true or false.
I need you here.
I can’t breathe.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

This is supposed to be a song, actually... Uhm, I'm not too sure how I feel about it. =/

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Myjoy gold member
    May 23

    Edit | Reply
    The words here are compelling, I feel as if you have taking my heart and placed it within this song. It even brings tears to my eyes. Powerful and simple.


  • xxwhatsherfacexx
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    i think this poem [or song rather] is pretty decent....
    it describes a feeling that everyone who's anyone has at one point in their lives...i think it would be better if there was a chorus, something that rebounds the reader back to the core feeling of the poem...the part where you say "Are there faults In me imbedded so deep I just can’t reach. I can’t breathe.I Can’t Breathe." could be the chorus....maybe...


  • PoeticusVeritas gold member
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    I know the feeling your explaining in this poem. I've felt it alot, even in my most recent relationship. It really is good though. You did a great job and I agree that this is certainly one of your best.


  • JackFellDown
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    The style and flow of it is good. It has a nice feel to it and I can kinda add my own beats to this to make it a song. I think its pretty good and you could go with it. Lyrically to make it a song you might think up a repeating stanza if you dont have one in mind. Still it would take a great voice to make it sound fantastic. =]


    • Pretty Britty gold member
      May 13

      Edit | Reply
      Ssst yeahhh. I wanted to put in a chorus line but I just didn't know what to do with it. I may expand on this, but I prolly won't. Seeing as how it was kind of a spur of the moment thing, and is actually fairly lacking in quality lol

      But hey, thanks :]

  • Cerbie20
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    “For the best”
    You say.
    How is that so?
    When every day without you
    Feels like an eternity in
    Limbo…

    Lie to me.
    Tell me you love me
    Tell me I’m all you’ve ever wanted
    I can’t breathe
    I won’t breathe
    Until you do.

    exactly how i felt with dipshit frederick. i liked this poem. it was not bad at all... in fact, i think that its one of your best... it was really good, and a lot of people our age, or any age for that matter, can relate to this poem really well. great job britty, seriously. i loved it!

1 - 6 of 6