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Wanting for You

 

 

 

wanting for you
      wanting for me

 

 

    wanting for your soul's repair
      through the force of my love alone


           we dance for the future
   in violent waves of tenderness
       I am touching you
             with fingers unseen
                   whispering

 


treasures unheard

 


        as you look with one eye

   keeping one to yourself

 

    I place the most tender kiss
      above your open eye
          and trace my faith across your face

 

   hoping against hope
          you will look to see
                who I am

 

 

     wanting for me

wanting for you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

I hope this is what you are looking for, Nicolette.

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Nicolette gold member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    I see my co-judge has already commented on the ‘floating format’ of the poem and I won’t address that again. The reason I prefer left-alignment is because that way I can interpret the line breaks better, as line breaks are indeed one of the most effective poetic devices.

    I liked the feel of intimacy about this poem. It is sweet and romantic and does indeed capture the deeper elements of love and lovemaking. I liked the idea of “looking with one eye and keeping one to yourself” – very good.

    Thank you for the entry.

    ~ Nicolette

  • grm
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    well, the 'floating' format doesn't quite accomodate the 'left-align' requirement, but it is a very sweet and romantic piece

    thanks for entering


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman gold member
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    I like this, the way it dances down the page.

    'as you look with one eye
    keeping one to yourself'... Yes, excellent!

    All the best, Sol


  • Amera gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    You are not only the King of sonnets poems and my King but you are the King of love poems too.


    Love,
    Amera


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Ohh I love it! Cherishing someone, wanting to soothe their soul... yet a hestitance of wondering if they will let you.

    Love this !!


    • PerVirtuous Allan gold member
      May 13
      Edit | Reply
      It is entirely possible for people to carry on a torrid sexual relationship without really being intimate. Intimacy is everything. Sex is only a small part of intimacy.

  • rhondasail
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    The language of intercourse, outercourse, all seven courses and dessert too!...Man, you do know the language of love...What a voice you have ...Peace always, Rhonda

  • 2lullabyhaven
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    This feels so intimate somehow; yet makes a universal statement of sorts. Wonderful, insightful penning...you must have had your cheerio's today lol


    • PerVirtuous Allan gold member
      May 13
      Edit | Reply
      No, Fruit Loops.... and I got two temporary tatoos of Brittany Spears inside!

      • 2lullabyhaven
        May 13

        Edit | Reply
        Man...you hit the 'proverbial' jackpot; are you planning your retirement now hahaahaha sorry, I fell into that one, smile

  • Dalaney gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    a floating form of poetry...
    it drifts softly from heaven
    down to the intended's heart...
    I understand this. Love, Lane

1 - 15 of 15