I inhaled the sweet aroma of you
before I realized your toxic poison
was seeping into my veins until
I could no longer breathe wtihout you.
Splinters embedded in my flesh
from your callous heart
and as you held out your hand
bruising me with your intentions.
I finally fell at the door
of our future where I found relief
~locking it behind you.
A contest entry
- PIF QUICKIE... 40-60 WORDS 10 POETS by righteousme.
625 points, ended May 17, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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i like the expression in this piece about the danger of love and the escaping. nicely written
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I finally fell at the door
of our future where I found relief
~locking it behind you....
i am a sucker for the kickers at the end... i think a good piece can always start shaking as long as it ends with a bang... thank you for your time and talent... AiM
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And that is exactly when enough is enough!! When the thought of being without them brings more relief than when being with them!!
Fantastic write here hun...
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Excellent
Beautiful expression of locking out the past forever. Amazing write dear poetess
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Another amazing poem by an amzing person. It flows carelessly through my mind as i read it...trying to find the perfect interpretation to these beautiful words. It is indeed another great write.
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that last line was the clincher... locking it behind you.... not behind me as one may expect it to be, but forcing the past to be locked behind so there may be a hope, no matter how small, of a future.
but now that i read it again... when you fell, you could have been inside and locked him out as he left... or locked it behind him as he stayed... wow... great meaning behind those words... you are incredible.
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