I was alone.
Vulnerable.
Separated from my pack.
Adolescents quickly smell weakness.
A ravening pack of merciless wolves,
it didn't take them long to sniff out my fear.
I can still see them circling me now.
Their attacks were subtle at first...
nibbling at my insecurities, tasting me.
Savouring tiny morsels of my self-respect,
licking their chops
while grinning to my face
with their well-sharpened teeth.
Before long, hungry jowls dripping with sarcasm,
they ventured larger mouthfuls, brazenly piercing
my flesh with malevolent mockery, until
angst, loathing--even hatred--freely flowed.
New experiences, which gave me
nowhere to retreat
to lick my wounds.
Still, it was a surprise to me
when they moved in for the kill...
remorseless fangs embedded in my throat,
howls of victory rebounding off
disemboweled innocence.
I never truly believed [until then]
that my own kind could be capable
of such atrocities.
I have survived, though my scars
remain clearly visible.
Time does not heal all wounds.
Still, it was not my attackers who severed
[for a time] my faith in humanity.
It was you.
You.
Who stood silently by
and watched.
Author notes
ever been bullied?
A contest entry
- Absolutely Anything (No Adult Themes) by DawnKestrel.
550 points, ended June 3, 2008, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bullies - Victim's point of view by Moon Raven.
450 points, ended May 31, 2008, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. by She Stole My Voice.
300 points, ended September 21, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite-palooza by swim.x.
1650 points, ended October 6, 2008, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Share your poems with me by trekkergirl.
550 points, ended November 6, 2008, 174 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1011 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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Yes, I've been bullied...for 5 years in fact. So I really know what it feels like.
This was simply excellent! You compared a prey being attacked by wolves to you being bullied, and your friend just watched. Now that was totally unexpected, it really captured my heart. I also liked it that 'time does not heal all wounds', used in a physical and metaphorical way. Good use of the title too! =)
Good luck in the contest! =D
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BRAVO! You gave a voice to all the victims of bullying out there - and caught, precisely, how it feels ; how subtly it can begin happening with even you not realising what's going on until it's too late; until they've got you entirely surrounded and there's no way out, and when you try to tell someone, they don't believe you - as was my case.
This one hit home, particularly the lines,
"Their attacks were subtle at first...
nibbling at my insecurities, tasting me.
Savouring tiny morsels of my self-respect,
licking their chops
while grinning to my face
with their well-sharpened teeth."
Truly tells the tales of all who have been bullied... This poem should be featured repeatedly for everyone, as I believe 2 /5 people have been bullied in soem way! Thank you for entering
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yes, I have been bullied before it is a horrible feeling. You feel hurt, betrayed, and totally not understanding why these people would ever want to hurt you. Yes, I have been bullied it is an awful feeling. Thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering it into my contest.
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I would never let anyone hurt ya lass....
You really punched a hole in my chest and ripped me heart out with this one.
You articulated the feeling of betrayal like I have never felt.
So descriptive was your hurt that i wanted to comfort and protect you.
I had a mental image of you being circled...it almost mad me mad.
Many of my poems are real...like the last one you so kindly took the time to read....
I lived on the road many years with a philosophy of travel and booze....
but i was young and threw out all the lonesome feelings and just held the good times close...
I hope this was not real....you write so excellent...your story telling so strong...it seemed as if it were happening the very moment i was reading it.
You call on your 6-5 Irish nomad any time you need help....
I would stand by you always.
This was to real....
Sweet love
my gypsy lass,
LIAM
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Yes, I have been bullied. And I love the way you used the ending to sum up what really got to you. I have been there, in your position, and I strongly believe that you wrote about this topic brilliantly
Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x -
I absolutely adore the ending.
Thank you so much for entering and good luck ♥
-rainbow. -
Wow, this is incredibly powerful. I loved the set up which gave the words an even greater strength. The imagery, the background color, the wording all combined to make a truly great piece. The last lines held so much painful truth. Congrats on a well deserved gold trophy for this piece and best of luck in any future contests you enter it into.
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Wow. This poem took my breath away. This was strong, oh so very strong.
The emotions flowed so freely. The wording, the metaphors, imagery, flow, everything, stood out to me. This is a very well written poem.
I really like the massage you sent and the way you portrayed it. You made this piece personal. Drew me in from the start. Very well done.
I wish my mind weren't running on empty right now so that I could express my thoughts more clearly and thoroughly.
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I have been bullied before, and this was a great write!
Good luck in my contest!
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ashlynn
That was so deep and personal. i loved it. it was osm. -
an amazing write, you capture the subject so well, such a deep powerful write, that reminds us that it is not only the wrong doers who are in the wrong but also those who stand b and do nothing, great write.
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Well written, yet we have to remember we are animals but of the human kind, the only thing that separates us from other creates is that humans are the only living species of animals that have a conscience... if we never had a conscience bullying etc would only be seen mostly likely as the survival of the fittest and power play to be top dog.
In many cases one prejudges the one who stands by and watches at fault for doing nothing, yet in many cases they themself end up as being bullied for interfering and then are set upon by the fighters... while the 2 fighters patch things up later. It is in some cases of domestic violence when police arrive on the seen they are set upon by the fighting couple... In many cases too when one comes to the rescue of another, becomes the victim and is killed.
We as humans have always been and felt most powerful when in a group, to taunt or attack others, when we are confronted with another 1 to 1 our tunes changes quickly and we realize how quick we have to use our wits to be able to talk ourselves out of having a fist fight or be bruised by words.
One should ask one self where does this mentality starts from and fester from.... the home environment? peer pressure? ones own chosen choice to be a bully? being or choosing to stay victims? or just a survival mechanism just to live life?
At the end of the day it is one own conscience past and present that determines the consequences of our actions and deeds to be regretful or not and to be the people we want to be and become.
There is a saying I like and I feel it would work in nearly all the facets of life... "No-one can make you feel inferior unless you, yourself have given them your permission to do so"
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Oh my gosh. This is amazing. You have captured what really goes on in schools so well. When i first saw that it was a comparison using wolves i doubted it but it turned out rele rele well. well done!
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I graduated in '74 and I don't remember bullying being nearly as bad back then. could be because I went to a small rural school. I was never bullied but I did see it happen to others when I was living and going to urban schools. I went to a lot of schools
I like this because you've captured bullying perfectly and empphasized the ones who watch, which is just as bad.
perfect ending too
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Intense and gripping
The words are raw and jagged. Extremely emotional but it works. When I see some movies about high school here I always wonder if it is a stereotype rendering. But my daughter has always told me that it just could be a possibility.( teenagers are extremely uncommunicative about what goes on in school) Good luck writing.
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this is deep i remember reading it for the first time it excelllent tremendous fabulous so many word cant describe how lovely this poem is and so many times have i felt this way by someone who doesnt even care about whats happineng to you but whats happening to them they just stand right behind u watching and doesent even bother to help i will miss u lots tabby my sissy
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Ignore the men... we know what girls do to other girls
and they bring they're boy friends... I was all ways a country girl brought up so badly at home it made me so tough no one bullied me =) oh but I saw it every day girl I saw it every day the more you tried to help the more harder they made it.. all about money.
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I saw the words 'stunning' on the shameless box and figured, well, that's certainly shameless. I must say, however, this piece lacks subtlety. You make your point clear, of course. It would be difficult to be confused about what this means. But it also raises no questions, and with neither residual questions nor particularly elegant lines to remember your work by, it is equally difficult to keep this poem in your mind. It doesn't do anything really wrong, but it doesn't do anything that has never been done before either. You could go deeper than this.
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this was my middle school. a pack of wolves is exactly how i've described it... all three years i saw this happen. by some unspoken agreement they would pick out the weakest member and just rip at them all year until they had shredded the person completely. seventh grade was the worst, because they took on someone too strong for them to break. all year long they tore at her, but they couldn't break her, which just made them attack more fiercely, it became almost a matter of pride, a battle of the wills, they were determined to break her by any means. this was all going on in class, a non stop stream of insults and sexual jokes, and the teacher never once said something about it. but i can't just blame her, i too, stood silently there and watched, i struggled with it a lot, it was so hard to see, but i felt helpless to do anything, i was never really teased or bullied, at least not in this cruel, focused way, i think because i always laughed the loudest at myself, but i was still an outsider. i spent several hours one night making fliers to try to launch a campaign against the culture of this virulous form of bullying i had never seen before that seemed to pervade the school, but i couldn't get even my lifelong friend to join me. the only thing i could do was try to reach out to the victims. just wanted to say that sometimes, those who stand around and watch feel just as helpless as the victim does.
but yes, sorry to go on and on, but just evoked a lot for me, very well written, well executed metaphor, effective style (especially love the begining and end and stanza breaks). i'm sure a lot of people can relate to this, and you've spoken for all of them beautifully, poignantly. -
Quite a good poem! It is powerful.
I would keep the last lines more together. In fact I missed reading them initially. Too much space--not necessary.
The fourth stanza I would end with innocence. Leave the last three lines (author's comments) out as it weakens the poem, in my opinion.
Gonny -
Really good peom. It really sums the mentlity of the play ground. I definitely recognised myself in it (I think I played all the roles your poem describes during my time at school)
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I have always thought that someone who stands by and allows something bad to happen is just as guilty as the person doing the bad thing. I love the metaphores and imagery used in this poem. Amazing!
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This punched me right in the stomach
I was bullied in school, and now so is my daughter. I really want to thank all those who stick up for kids who need a little help. Great write with an unexpected ending.
Bravo
M
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Hmmn... I wonder why people stand by and watch.
I've never not stood up for a friend in need, but when it comes to people I don't know randomly fighting in front of me, so long as both are putting up a fight I don't seem to do much...
In bully situation where one is helpless an the other is bruttalizeing them, I am way more likely to attack the mother fucking assholes.
I know what it's like to be victimized, but I was only helpless because I didn't learn to stand up for myself. I was never in a situation completly helpless.
This expresses how it feels very honestly and very skillfully.
Thanks for the write.
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Crying now.
This is the exact thing I needed to see right now. I was drawn to this from the title. I am not going to say why. I am not sure of much right now, yet the things that I am sure of is all things that are connected through the source of all that is need to get things together. I am on a journey to get things done. I need to be with my kindred. I have many more than I know. We are all a part of something beyond description. I am uncertain of things until I get proof. This seems to be part of that. Please keep writing. You do know to say things that we all feel so well. Thank you very much. Rich.
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stand up
youve got to manage
i wont sympathise
anymore -
Fan-bloody-tastic! I've been in such (though probably not as severe) situations, myself, and I can see where you're coming from. The ending tells it exactly how it is. It's lovely.
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This is a BRILLIANT take on what it feels like to be bullied!
The outsiders who watch and thank their lucky stars that it is not them are just as much to blame!
I adored the complete gruesome way in which they attacked in a pack and .... in my opinion ... there is NOTHING more hurtful or cruel than an adolescent with an attitude!
WELL DONE!
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Oh my goodness! This is as powerful as it gets, Beautiful work! Its gutwrenching, but eloquently retold. Evokes an array of emotion, Bravo!!!
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very very good poem. this was put together great. the words and adjectives couldn't be better. this is gold in my book.
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Yikes!
That was a good piece! I was homeschooled, so I never dealt with bullies in that capacity, but I have had my share of them over the years. They find a way to get you, even if you don't go to school. I can definitely relate to this! I understand what it feels like to have people watch as you get torn to pieces with words. Very powerful!
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oh WOW.
i can't see a single flaw here.
you've captured the emotion and done it with style and proper spelling.
all things considered, great write!
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wow..
this is one of the best i have read so far. the topic is something i think most people can realate to and it is also amazingly well written. i love it. -
Oh my goodness!!! Crazy...but awesome. You took the metaphor and ran with it. You did an awesome job. You must have experience being the one bullied. I can totally relate, I think everyone can at one point. You painted the bully quite well. Good luck in the contest, reads like gold to me!
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wow. this is remarkably amazingly written. I can't say much more than that.
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Boy, have I been there!
From 2nd to tenth grade. I never fit in and moved around a lot because of my dad's job. This piece is succinct at how I felt in reprisal of the circumstances of the past, but now I have moved on.
Very good piece-I like how you draw out the lines.
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I am constantly bullied. Being a small slightly gawky teen-aged girl with no self esteam really helps them out. I also love to read, which gets me a whole 'nother helping of that crap. I loved the poem, and I feel a deep connection with this poem, as I defend others but I cannot defend myself.
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deserves 5
LOWELL POE -
BEING 6 FOOT 6 INCH I have defended many a smaller persons from animals with know respect for their brothers and sisters. These jocks picked on this kid, and I always came to his aid...chasing them from him...unfortunately he was in my year book...in the back....he had hung himself ...1974....i still think of it......why?
Great write,
LOWELL POE. -
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Wow. You did the right thing coming to his aid. That is truly tragic. I'm sorry for you...but even more so for that poor tortured kid.
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yeah, i have. great analogy. good memories**... --curses--
**n.r. duh.
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Ouch. I can understand this entirely, except for the last part, which I can relate to, but am not entirely sure I can agree with. The metaphor here is brilliant, especially in it's application of social groups as individual packs of wolves, each with their understanding of the other 'packs' and how much power they have over them.
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Wow---Excellent Metaphor!! Very creative in the Wolf Theme!
Awesome Write!!--very well done & Best of luck in the contest!
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