gazing into your eyes
I see your father
his heart too
remember, that is why
your eyes are blue
A piece of him you are
my bright shimmering star
while your daddy is away
you remind me everyday
within your eyes I see him
I see things that you do
talking and actions of him too
reminding me of him
even when the light is dim
I see your beautiful pools of dreams
with shimmering stars
reflecting the world, beyond more than it seems
within your eyes
your daddy is always at our sides
you are a piece of the man I love
and you will always be
my special gift from above
you're eyes will always be blue
and your mommy will always love you
Author notes
E=eyes
my son
promt: as long as your eyes are blue,
A contest entry
- PIF/10/10 by AliceinPoetryLand.
700 points, ended May 15, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PW Party by Blooming Poet.
425 points, ended July 23, 185 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - E is for ... by stoli.
700 points, ended June 29, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For my favs by crazymomma.
410 points, ended July 15, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This was very sweet and touching. I am wondering why daddy isn't there though. I hope it is only temporary. What a lovely poem. Thanks for entering
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Ahh, that was gorgeous and heartfelt
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Couple of typos I caught -- "seams" and "then", both in the same line.
I have to say, your opening stanza was lovely and got my attention straight away. I'm not sure what it was -- looking back over it I can't quite put my finger on what caught my interest but it's definitely there and I really like it. Great job. -
Okay, I see what you are trying to say and the emotions and paiin are there for sure. I can say that much. It is quite a beautiful poem. One thing though, you need to capitlize your I's. It is a major pet peeve of mine not to. Thanks so much.
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A lovely piece indeed. It' amazing what we can see in our childrens eyes. Thanks so much for your beautiful poem.
Gaylene
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very cute amy I like it its really deep
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a nice poem, thoughtful and free flowing full of feeling enjoyible to read, lightens the heart.

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