The night sky covers the Earth,
Like a dark blanket,
One you lose yourself in,
Get lost and dream away,
Away as if you could fly,
And the world had ended,
Flying highlike birds,
What lust and blasphemy,
Your eyes do tell,
And as foresaw,
You rot and burn,
In the deep pits of hell,
And even then,
The night still covers,
And the sky lay,
As yet anothers blanket...
A contest entry
- Fireflies In The Garden...pif by kaibab.
900 points, ended May 14, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
howz it be??
Comments
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Ours is many in the sea of few,
an infinate challenge to carry through,
and walk the beach in search of shell
close to heaven, not afraid of hell...
thanks much for your entry
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I didn`t like this write, there`s little or no flow making it hard to read ( and to understand ). The idea or main feeling behind it is vague and doesn`t get through to the reader in my opinion...
Maybe this was your point and it all makes part of the poem, but I think it just lacks strcuture.
I hope my comment was useful in one way or the other and whatever you do, keep writing !!
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I hope you enjoy my write..=P later..Sarah [sweet.x.juliet]
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