Tears begin to form
upon her shimmering eyes
Rolling gently to the edge
trembling before she cries
Emotions flow so deep
within her winded sighs
Born of our recent goodbyes
Author notes
7- lines
A contest entry
- 7/15 Quickie. by Merry Christmas.
425 points, ended May 15, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Fire flies in the garden
Comments
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I like this and all seems to flow except the last line. I've read it over and over not sure what would make it do so. Several things do pop in to my mind just not sure which is best. anyway I love it


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I liked this, I liked the fact you made it work with rhyme. The last line doesn't seem like the last line though, as if the poem is incomplete
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nice flow of rhyming words...
Nicely done
good luck




