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With Out Him

She loves him with all heart

Yet she knew they were falling apart

She cuts her self to ease the pain

but with out him it be the same

You can see it on her face

of the boy that can never be replaced

Her without him is the sun without the moon

a melody that has no tune...

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Comments


  • DeSiBoO14
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    UM...wEll I dOnT rEaLy ThInK iTs ClIcHe I tHiNk iTs KuTe N i LyK iT!!dA fLoW iS gReAt N dA EmOtIoN iS dER!!gUd JoB!!!

  • abyssal
    May 12
    Edit | Reply
    This has some tense (past/present) that could easily be worked out.

    "but with out him it be the same"
    That line is a bit awkward, not sure if that was your intention or not but it creates a catch in the poem breaking it's flow.

    Good closer but a tad cliché.