Day is fading all too fast
The sunset blazes in your sight
Make these precious mem’ries last
Don’t let them drift into the night
Let sleep fly you to your dreams
And chase away your darkest fears
The night’s not frightening as it seems
And when you wake I will be here
Oh darling, darling, don’t you know
That I’ll be always by your side
To battle ‘gainst your every foe
And wipe away the tears you’ve cried
Author notes
This is a song we wrote for a story... it's really very sweet, especially in context.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I'll do the best I can without context!
Excellent rhyme and abab pattern.
Sounds like a pending separation of weary sleep, perhaps after great difficulties (darkest fears, battle, foe, cried). Very nice imagery, "sunset blazes."
"Make these precious mem'ries last/Don't let them drift into the night" gives the impression that there were also sweet memories shared together in the course of the day. A sense of great dedication and protectiveness, particularly in the last 5 lines.
Technically, last stanza is very nice iambic tetrameter, as are the last 3 lines of stanza 2, and lines 2 and 4 of stanza 1.
Stanza 1, lines 1 and 3, and stanza 2 line 1 start with trochees. You might consider adding a non-stressed single syllable in front of these lines to make the piece flow more smoothly. (perchance "Wan [or spent] Day is...)
Just a thought
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