I Have Had

A Bright flesh colored love, which burned into my soul
A white-hot, all consuming, obsession
A love that lit my way,
A love that saved me from darkness, despair, loneliness

One year of passion
Warming me, lifting me up, and out of
A cold, so very hard, world
By gifts of warmth, tenderness, lust, and friendship

You ran from me;
                    Replacement and darkness
You came to me with your light
Rejoice-causing renewal

You ran from me
                    Rejection and despair
You came to me with your hope
Rejoice-causing renewal

You ran from me
                    Relinquishment and depression
You came to me with your desire
Rejoice-causing renewal

My love, you have chosen the path that we now walk
I stand with slumped shoulders, tear clouded vision
I will my arms not to rise in supplication
I will my legs not to run to your side

How can I reconcile
Soaring, blindingly-bright, heart-warming love, and
Crashing, pitch-black, mind-numbing loss?
Only with memories, and hope for a future

I await your pleasure my lady
Whether it be in the next moment
Or a hundred years hence
I await your pleasure.