Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
 

Translation of Love

Missing image
Like a blind woman,
I felt his lips
when they formed
words of love,
warm short breaths
followed by a cool intake
and a release.

I heard his heart
on the tips
of my fingers,
and taught my own lips
how to beat
in the same rhythm

I spoke into his palms,
licked the line
of his life,
and found enlightenment
in this primitive
ritual
of mating -

every movement
we made
became a translation of love;
his body spoke
in long drawn out moans,
his mouth moved
like a willow
in the wind

and I interpreted
every word he created,
I deciphered
and defined,
I learned

sensuality...

Author notes

Prompt: For this contest we want poetry that speaks the language of sexuality that is both intercourse and “outercourse”. Can you “speak” and write it or is it a dying/foreign tongue?

In a list

A contest entry

: , Your review:

Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
: no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 33 of 33

  • Nicolette gold member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Firstly, I liked the title of this piece, as well as the concept of articulating love and sensuality through words and bodies.

    “I spoke into his palms” – I liked the feeling of intimacy I got from that line – really nice. The image of a willow is very effective too. Overall a very nice piece of writing that incorporates both the physical and the emotional.

    Thank you for this entry.

    ~ Nicolette

  • grm gold member
    May 26
    Edit | Reply
    this is nice

    thanks for entering

  • amazing

    Wow, that was beautiful.


  • Birgitte silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    I definitely think you've kept the tongue of sexuality alive, and will awaken it in many when they read this. I'm usually not a fan of erotica, no matter how tasteful it is, because people seem to do it in a way that simple frustrates me. I can't explain it, but you did it your own way. I admire your talent of describing a feeling and a touch. You put words and definitions, where I fail. I will always admire you for that!

  • Hmm. "When they formed words of love" lets the poem down a bit. The rest is interesting. It is rich in imagery. "His body spoke"... Spoke could be replaced with something more descriptive. But otherwise, a nice poem, I quite like it.
  • i felt his lips when they formed love this whole seen has me very well stimulated and excited i think this one is better in the contest good luck
  • hmmm...you make me miss my love, and its only been a little over a day since I saw him last...those moments when touch becomes a language more worthy than the one we write with are amazing...and you have captured just that...good luck!


  • Peteskid gold member
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    sounds that can be sensed in so many ways; and here it is the imagination...the place where all senses seem to find a blank canvas and room for expression...wonderful work ...PK

  • My Lady

    Prompt well met.

  • ooooh.... My I have so missed reading you
    This is sensational!!!

    I spoke into his palms,
    licked the line
    of his life.... That was my favorite part. gave me the chills. But the entire piece is outstanding.


    Delila


  • JohnnyD gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Word crafted as if by King Saul himself,-
    or perhaps his Queen?
    Interpretations of primal ritual rhythms-
    of ageless sensuality-
    Bespeaking the difference between-
    “intercourse” and “inner-course”-
    This is a trophy write-
    if there ever was one-



    len


  • nordicsky silver member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Hi lane,
    Once again, you have crafted a wonderfully subtle sensual poem. This unspoken language between two people is a tongue that everybody should try to learn.

    Thanks for making my day that little bit better with your poetry.
    Love, Peter

  • You write the most sensual poetry on AP, I want to be tracing his lifeline with my tongue (or hers).


  • Jersene silver member
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    breathtaking and sensual...a perfect translation

  • Excellently conceived and written.

    However, you really do not need the quotes round "heard". One of the beauties of poetry is the way that one can startle readers by mixing the words appropriate to the senses... colours can have tastes, tastes can have sounds, and so on and so on.

    Do well in the contest, cuz.


  • tomisb gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    One more word, water for the thirst, then wine for the conisseur(sp?). We should all be such avid students You twine the language of the poem around the reader until their breath becomes the pant of anticipation. Delicious.
    Love, Tom B.

  • Arzab
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write, Lane. Lots of emotion expressed and very sensual. I have heard of the term outercourse before. I think it's good if people can express love for another person without feeling they have to go all the way before both of them are ready. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.

  • "every movement
    we made
    became a translation of love"

    this is beautiful


  • Rowan gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful, I wonder if you need the last word?
    I like the ending as; I learned.
    Regardless, this made me all swooney inside.
    Lovely.


  • daviscth silver member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    You had no trouble speaking the language for this brilliant poem Lane. good luck with it.


  • Malabu
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    And this is; what I love about you

    I journey you,
    on a road of words
    to places of your soul

    ...imagined

    Malabu

  • idyllic.

  • Sensuality in every word, you bring a whole new meaning to the meaning...

    All the best in the contest

    Love
    Sue

  • Breathtakingly beautiful emotions poured into your words.

    My best wishes to you in the contest.

    Love Margaret

  • I don't know where to start, the ending, I guess, but then the middle is also sublime, not to mention the beginning ... you have explored the world of love ...

    you have made it real and you have written a masterpiece.. not even going to bother discussing this, nothing i can say would make me feel any better than i already do after reading this gold trophy poem.

    shut down the ticket booth!!! its over ... period


    i love this poem ... i feel like we just had sex




  • moonbumps silver member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Takes my breath away this-I felt I had to hold my breath when reading to be quiet...pic divine...
    xxx Hilly xxx


  • TN.Joe
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    Where do these ideas for contests come from? I think you nailed it. I also think you got nailed.
    ROFLMAO...
    Joe

  • Wow this is SO sensual and pretty Lane. I love the subtleness and tactile quality.
    You're a mermaid swimming in familiar waters writing this.

    Paul


  • ariosto gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    I knew this contest was right up your alley. I thought about entering myself but you set the benchmark sooooooo high!

    anyway
    loved it, a beautiful and sensual poem.


    xoxoxo
    D

  • Loved it...you wrote it from the heart of a woman who has been there Love, C

  • ummm

    BLOODY HELL!

1 - 33 of 33