Like a blind woman,
I felt his lips
when they formed
words of love,
warm short breaths
followed by a cool intake
and a release.
I heard his heart
on the tips
of my fingers,
and taught my own lips
how to beat
in the same rhythm
I spoke into his palms,
licked the line
of his life,
and found enlightenment
in this primitive
ritual
of mating -
every movement
we made
became a translation of love;
his body spoke
in long drawn out moans,
his mouth moved
like a willow
in the wind
and I interpreted
every word he created,
I deciphered
and defined,
I learned
sensuality...
Author notes
Prompt: For this contest we want poetry that speaks the language of sexuality that is both intercourse and “outercourse”. Can you “speak” and write it or is it a dying/foreign tongue?
In a list
A contest entry
- the language of intercourse and outercourse by Nicolette.
4500 points, ended June 1, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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MMMMM...
Jeez, I'm so finished now..wow..
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I feel that you succeeded in this prompt. I love the second stanza the most. It encompassed the prompt and the poem for me.
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Firstly, I liked the title of this piece, as well as the concept of articulating love and sensuality through words and bodies.
“I spoke into his palms” – I liked the feeling of intimacy I got from that line – really nice. The image of a willow is very effective too. Overall a very nice piece of writing that incorporates both the physical and the emotional.
Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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this is nice
thanks for entering
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amazing
Wow, that was beautiful.
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I definitely think you've kept the tongue of sexuality alive, and will awaken it in many when they read this. I'm usually not a fan of erotica, no matter how tasteful it is, because people seem to do it in a way that simple frustrates me. I can't explain it, but you did it your own way. I admire your talent of describing a feeling and a touch. You put words and definitions, where I fail. I will always admire you for that!
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Hmm. "When they formed words of love" lets the poem down a bit. The rest is interesting. It is rich in imagery. "His body spoke"... Spoke could be replaced with something more descriptive. But otherwise, a nice poem, I quite like it.
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i felt his lips when they formed love
this whole seen has me very well stimulated and excited i think this one is better in the contest good luck
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hmmm...you make me miss my love, and its only been a little over a day since I saw him last...those moments when touch becomes a language more worthy than the one we write with are amazing...and you have captured just that...good luck!
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sounds that can be sensed in so many ways; and here it is the imagination...the place where all senses seem to find a blank canvas and room for expression...wonderful work ...PK
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My Lady
Prompt well met.
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ooooh.... My I have so missed reading you
This is sensational!!!
I spoke into his palms,
licked the line
of his life.... That was my favorite part. gave me the chills. But the entire piece is outstanding.
Delila
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Word crafted as if by King Saul himself,-
or perhaps his Queen?
Interpretations of primal ritual rhythms-
of ageless sensuality-
Bespeaking the difference between-
“intercourse” and “inner-course”-
This is a trophy write-
if there ever was one-
len
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Hi lane,
Once again, you have crafted a wonderfully subtle sensual poem. This unspoken language between two people is a tongue that everybody should try to learn.
Thanks for making my day that little bit better with your poetry.
Love, Peter
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You write the most sensual poetry on AP, I want to be tracing his lifeline with my tongue (or hers).
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breathtaking and sensual...a perfect translation
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Excellently conceived and written.
However, you really do not need the quotes round "heard". One of the beauties of poetry is the way that one can startle readers by mixing the words appropriate to the senses... colours can have tastes, tastes can have sounds, and so on and so on.
Do well in the contest, cuz.
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One more word, water for the thirst, then wine for the conisseur(sp?). We should all be such avid students You twine the language of the poem around the reader until their breath becomes the pant of anticipation. Delicious.
Love, Tom B.
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Beautiful write, Lane. Lots of emotion expressed and very sensual. I have heard of the term outercourse before. I think it's good if people can express love for another person without feeling they have to go all the way before both of them are ready. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
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"every movement
we made
became a translation of love"
this is beautiful
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This is beautiful, I wonder if you need the last word?
I like the ending as; I learned.
Regardless, this made me all swooney inside.
Lovely.
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You had no trouble speaking the language for this brilliant poem Lane. good luck with it.
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And this is; what I love about you
I journey you,
on a road of words
to places of your soul
...imagined
Malabu
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idyllic.
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Sensuality in every word, you bring a whole new meaning to the meaning...
All the best in the contest
Love
Sue
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Breathtakingly beautiful emotions poured into your words.
My best wishes to you in the contest.
Love Margaret
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I don't know where to start, the ending, I guess, but then the middle is also sublime, not to mention the beginning ... you have explored the world of love ...
you have made it real and you have written a masterpiece.. not even going to bother discussing this, nothing i can say would make me feel any better than i already do after reading this gold trophy poem.
shut down the ticket booth!!! its over ... period
i love this poem ... i feel like we just had sex
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Takes my breath away this-I felt I had to hold my breath when reading to be quiet...pic divine...
xxx Hilly xxx
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Where do these ideas for contests come from? I think you nailed it. I also think you got nailed.
ROFLMAO...
Joe
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Wow this is SO sensual and pretty Lane. I love the subtleness and tactile quality.
You're a mermaid swimming in familiar waters writing this.
Paul
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I knew this contest was right up your alley. I thought about entering myself but you set the benchmark sooooooo high!
anyway
loved it, a beautiful and sensual poem.
D
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Loved it...you wrote it from the heart of a woman who has been there Love, C
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ummm
BLOODY HELL!
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Hmm. We do need to talk.
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Okay:)
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