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Death at a funeral

Heaving sighs of remorse
Today,
dwindling into forever,
choking on the soil
they've buried you in.

Author notes

Option 2

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Swan song gold member
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is something. Sad in a chilling way.
    Well done!!!


  • phantasyintrigue-x silver member
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    The title is so in-your-face, LoL.

    "Heaving remorse-filled sighs"
    Maybe "Heaving sighs of remorse" or "Heaving remorseful sighs"?

    "choking on the soil they've buried you in."
    Ooh, great imagery, great bluntness like a blood-stained knife..


  • penman gold member
    May 14
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very well done. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Florida Sunshine gold member
    May 12
    Edit | Reply
    This is heavy and deep at the same time! Nice job ~ good luck!

  • Once Upon A Mind
    May 12
    Edit | Reply
    This is gutwrenching! Nice job, and best of luck

1 - 5 of 5