Little suicide boy;
Where have you gone?
We see your face but
We cannot feel your presence.
Are you more than what
We view?
Little suicide boy;
What do you feel?
Your blue eyes seem sad, yet
You actions seem heartless.
Or is it the heartache?
I don’t know who you are so
Please show me
Something.
Little suicide boy;
I know you’ve lied so much,
But show me the truth.
I know it must be there somewhere;
If it isn’t, you put on a great show.
Little suicide boy;
Hold me close and I’ll
Love away your pain if you
Promise me you’ll never
Let me go.
Love can heal everything, as long
As you let it in.
Little suicide boy;
You’ve sprinkled salt around
My heart again.
Your mesmerizing voice and
Ocean-colored eyes fill the
Void in my chest [you seem to
Fold perfectly into.] But
The empty spaces weren’t there
Until you [swore] you loved me.
Little suicide boy;
When did your hands become
Like ice?
I warm them but all I can feel is
The cold sweeping through you, like
Its pulsing in your veins.
No wonder you don’t seem to love
As much anymore.
Your heart has turned to freezing stone.
Little suicide boy;
Just hold my hand and
Smile one last smile
Before you leave me.
I know you never loved me because
Every aspect of your
Existence is fake.
Little suicide boy;
You may be gone but
You are not forgotten.
Remember I’m still here, because
I know you will
Someday come back.
And I’m ready
With open arms
When you do.
Little suicide boy;
You’ve sprinkled salt around
My heart again.
Your mesmerizing voice and
Ocean-colored eyes fill the
Void in my chest [you seem to
Fold perfectly into.] But
The empty spaces weren’t there
Until you [swore] you loved me.
Little suicide boy;
It seems you have broken me
Down once more.
Gave me your bitter sweet
Affection and then
Ripped it away, out of my hands.
Go ahead and leave,
You’ve done it once already.
Little suicide boy;
You left me bleeding and
I want you to know that
Someday your pain will
Intensify.
The thoughts left stagnant in your
Mind will be filthy with misery
And you will learn to
Feel like I do.
Little suicide boy;
You time of comfort, riding
Along on a cloud of other’s
Angst, has passed and now you are
Left empty with nobody
To love and nothing to else to feel.
Little suicide boy;
Listen to the twisted concepts
Inside your chest and
Do as they tell you.
The constantly thought-of
Thoughts are
Now waiting to be remembered and its
Time for you to become a
Little suicide boy.
Author notes
I find that some of my poetry is inspired by my favorite bands.... so here's a few bands that I can picture with lyrics like this, or even making a song out of this and playing it.
-Escape the Fate
-Seether
-Silverstein
-Saosin
-Atreyu
Definitely about the ex. with a littlw twist, because he never admits anything is wrong with him, but I hope this shows the.... I don't know. whatever is wrong with him.
This explains "our" journey... when i liked him, when we went out, when we broke up, when we went out, and when we broke up... and how karma finally came around and kicked his emo ass.
even if he isn't emo.
revenge? oui.
A contest entry
- To Dream A Dark Smile by Redrusty66.
625 points, ended May 21, 14 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
---> Angst.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Great work on a painful subject. The imagery and metaphores were spot on. You brought across the emotions with artistry. Would make a good dark song for bands like Rasmus and Courtney Love. Thanks for the great read.
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I thought the repetition was a little much. Beginning every line in a free verse poem with the same thing was awkward. I didn't feel the brackets were in the right places either, it had that forced dirty/pretty vibe.
Also, I know it's what you're really feeling, but there's nothing really original in the way you put it. It's okay to repeat things that have been said by others, but it can get a little over the top, especially if you're not offering any fresh perspective, or even phrasing it in an original manner.
Look to some of your favorite bands and be inspired by their moments of originality =]
Keep it up. -
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uhh thanks for the comment. but I do hope your realize that I am not copying anyone. or their words. I make my own words, and the way i write "cliched" or "unoriginal" its the style I write.
not all poetry has to be so original, or totally different.
and I do write dirty pretty. that would make sense why it has that feel. brackets are put in places where I would be thinking that line inside my head, not voicing it aloud.
thank you for your comment though.
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Amazing
This actually made me cry.
I loved the composition
And the story played in my head
While reading the thought from yours.
You have one mistake, possibly.
::You time of comfort, riding along on a cloud of other’s angst
^^ The "You" in the beginning..
I loved this though, seriously.
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i really liked this even if it got a bit repetitive at times... this isn't a bad thing if it was intended to be lyrics though.
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wow that was sooo wow
wwwwwwwwpoooooowwwwwwwwwwww -
awesome
i ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ it realy made a lode of snese to me
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i really loved it and it totally makes snese but i was kinda confused sometimes...it was still amazing though and not everyone needs to know everything your trying to say...
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I really like this. I can really relate too it. I'm sorry you broke up...esp. if you are still in love. I like the little suicide boy part.
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This is awesome.
It has so much meaning.
It is also dark which I like a lot.
Great Write!
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