Soul-less umbilical,
melded negative of subfusc hues
like drained persona of noir renaissance,
Seeming to expire when night murders day,
but it is only hibernation.
Concert crowd with silent applause
devoid of senses, absent of thought,
yet stalking every step; every gesture,
like a master-less marionette.
Confusion reigns in chimera mix
of unbridled pseudo souls,
no individuality stands above
the fainted curves of inverse reality.
Author notes
Whatever you want to critique I will read and (hopefully) learn from.
A contest entry
- A Wordplay Poetry Contest by -BlackKnight-.
600 points, ended June 9, 2008, 38 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique Requested
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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"Light".
Not bad with this one; unlike a few other poems in this contest, this one managed to pull off using a more complex vocabulary rather well.
In this, I'd say the first three lines are my favorite. -
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The word was shadows
Thank you for the gold placing
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I have no guess on the word... I'll think about it. Excellent work here.
Wording that wasn't the equivelent of first grade. That's what made me like this one. While I cannot speak for my co-hoast, I throughly enjoyed this poem.
Perhaps the word was shadows? (Strictly based on the like "like a master-less marionette.) -
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You would be correct, the word was shadows.
Thank you for the gold placing.
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fantastic imagery with abstract opposites...almost like mimes..(does that make sense?)..hehe..you are a master at wordplay..wow..leaves me wanting more..absolutely trophy worthy..blessings my friend and thanx so much for sharing..best of luck in the contest..namaste...
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