Hush your crying eyes
still your grieving heart
give the world your best
go on and play your part.
Let go of the crippling pain
you’ve pinned upon chest
the little one and I
are peacefully at rest.
Life there is for you
lessons still to learn.
To live you must let go
until it is your turn.
In the sunshine of Gods love
we’ll meet again some day.
For now we’ll say good-by
go live, love and play.
In a list
A contest entry
- Hush Little Baby by SomeonesToySoldier.
1900 points, ended May 16, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Thank you for this wonderful touching poem. I'm speachless, it seems that these were were written to me as much as they were about a circumstance. Your rhyming was impecable and beautifully done.
If I could make one sudgestion though it would be with line 6 and possibly line 5. The wording just doesnt seem right like there are a word or words missing from both lines. On line 5, which isnt bad, you could put "the" between the words "of" and "crippling". But its still perfectly fine if you left it as is. The one that I feel needs to be changed is line 6. You could change it to "you’ve pinned upon your chest" or something like that.
Reguardless though it is a beautiful poem. Thank you for your entry.
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sad
sad but heartfelt write for the prompt . . liked "Still your grieving heart" and "In the sunshine of Gods love" . . good luck in the contest
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