Another town
no one knows me
a room that smells
of yesterday
a bathroom
where the mirror
shows
no tomorrow
make up cannot hide
the bruises
inside
A car
not much money left
time
to find a diner
a job
and freedom
This room
has nothing I want
after him
that's good enough.
A contest entry
- Woman in a motel by AJ Morelli.
2000 points, ended May 27, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I like it. I think I know the perfect man for you.
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Excellent
A very fine write, indeed. I liked the imagery and thought behind it. Again, very well done.
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i see you are new to the site, so welcome...
i think this reads a bit like a list and needs a little connective tissue to hold it together... little edits would help clarify parts like:
"This room
has nothing I want
after him
that's good enough."
is cleaner as:
After him, this room
has nothing I want
that is good enough.
so nice to have you here in the contest, thanks
al
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So much said in so few words.To escape is enough.Freedom at last, Ros
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A lost soul on that lonely road... It's all open road from here!!! Very poignant piece!!!
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Thank-you.
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
Sadly, this is the life story of someone out there. You made it seem real. But I am glad it isn't personal to you.
Welcome to AP. If you have any questions or need help with anything, feel free to IM me.
Keep expressing through writing.
Storm
Site Greeter -
Very sad.
Hope it's not a true story.
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No, never married, like men too much for that!
Besides I've only been to the States once.
Thank you for the praise though, I like writing sad poetry. I don't think I am much good at it though.
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