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The Predicament

naked beneath the sheets
I wake…  eyes closed …
outside the window
the sound of
crashing waves ...
and the billow of hollow
breathing next to me,

amplified by the stale

odor of smoke and

alcohol

"what happened last night?
how did I get here; where
is here?"

petrified … I lay still ...
scared to move a head
that rests in the hollow
of an unfamiliar arm ...
I try to remember
where my clothes are

I relax …
and hope to fall into a
deeper sleep … then
wake to the smell of
Sister Agnes’s
breakfast back
home in the convent

 

 

 

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Comments

1 - 28 of 28

  • AJ Morelli gold member
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    I'm pretty sure this is a mortal sin, but it happens to the best of nuns...lol

    this is an interesting story, i think the overuse of ellipses slows it down, why not commas or line breaks to pace this along...

    having been a musician i can safely say i've been there, although i'm pretty sure there were no nuns involved


    nice entry here...


    al

  • Ithica silver member
    May 21
    Edit | Reply
    Which is the dream and which is the reality... Sweet dreams siter!!! Thais was good!!!


  • Swan song gold member
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    LOL this was good!!!

  • You naughty Nun!!!
    I'd stay in the motel if I were you, much more fun. Unless there are any cute nuns of course.

  • artis
    May 15

    Edit | Reply

    Oh, how I love this slipping away from the

    habits self-inflicted, the insidious longings of a natural need taking seed in the abstainer, Lust never sleeps, it nibbles at the edges of purity in delightful little bites, none are immune to it's sweet bliss. ~~~Artis

  • oops...quite a predicament. Get thee to a nunnery!

  • Oh phew! This one had me sweating it. A very moving freewrite Amera.
    Paul

  • Well done here. Where is the convenant?

    Ahh well.
    Love

    Passions


  • And Hyetal silver member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    This is a pretty scary write, but it's penned with such emotion. You are an amazing free verse writer. Beautiful.

    ~Cassie


  • JohnnyD gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    Hey, wait a darn minute here Amera, dear daughter of mine! Dear Agnes was with me that night! So what gives huh? Hmmmnnnnnn? "Whos' got their stories straight here??

    great write, just had to bust your chops a bit.



    dad


  • Desire gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply

    Oh My!!

    Powerful images and I was smelling the flowers on the table also the swirl of tobacco wrapped around her nostrils a realization of someone's Life
    Oy!!
    Magnificent take on the prompt-
    Love this
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~

  • Sis,

    Oh my! What a read this one is!! I love it! You know, for some reason, it made me think of "Sound of Music" LOL... What a fun movie, and this is just as much fun!! Great job!!

    Best of luck in this contest!!

    and love

    Nyetta

  • siss this is a nice blend
    my eyes caught the attention of the word petrified i have long forgotten that word thanks for your poem i enjoyed sucha great write both dark and kind of erotic wowwww its kind of ironic too the last part i enjoyed loasdddddssssssss


  • NeonRose silver member
    May 12
    Edit | Reply
    Whew! So it was a dream after all! Great ending to this write. Love the surprise!

  • Now then, some serious commenting. This poem tells a story, as much by what it doesn't say as by what it does. It works very well. Maybe, just maybe, it would have worked better without without the second stanza - I am of two minds - maybe more should be implied and less stated. But it's pretty good free verse, Sis.


    • Amera gold member
      May 12

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much; you know how I value your thoughts. I think that stanza makes the ending but I see what you mean; it's not "poetic" so I put it in quotes.
      • Y'know - that transforms it, and actually adds to the atmosphere. Good thinking!

  • myrataal silver member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply

    This is not a fun write at all ...

    It truly happens ... this is realtime poetry. And well written.

    With date rape or consent in using drugs or even alcohol abuse, many young girls land themselves in such a situation ...

    A warning.

    Love
    Myra


    • Amera gold member
      May 12
      Edit | Reply
      Or... could it have simply been a bad dream?
      Thank you Myra

  • Rowan gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    Nothing worse than waking in unfamiliar places...
    lol. Though, for me, I don't know what would be worse,
    the convent or a cheap motel. Kidding.
    Great entry.


  • blueyez
    May 12
    Edit | Reply
    hhahahahahahaha!!!!! I love it! it was all just a dream dear!

  • One of those moments that I am sure most people experience at some time or the other...and imagination can be a wonderful thing or a curse...as are memories.

    All the best in the contest...

    Love
    Sue

  • Is it live or is it Memorex? I love it when you go anti-Frost and write free verse This is ruefully delightful! I feel I've been there, except for the convent - I may burst into flames . Mmm, pancakes!


    • Amera gold member
      May 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Sister RedAquarius; see you at choir practice.
  • I think we have all had this happen at one time or another. I can smell sister Agnes's pancakes now... mmmmm. This is a wonderfully fun write. It has so many levels, with the final line adding a huge twist. Three enthusiastic bunnies for you!

  • Convent girls are the same the world over it seems!
    Like it!

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