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How Can I Cry?

I'm left alone with stories untold.
No hand to hold when I face my demons.
No corner to turn to when I start to cry.
No soul to feel how much it pains you.

In the darkness, only silence exists.
Monsters, just a dangerous illusion.
Lies, an excuse to move on.
Secrets, to cover what's better left unsaid.

But you remained,
Bent & broken.
On the edge of sanity.
You still remained.

& I can only thank you enough
With superfluous apologies.
For putting you through so much.


My words become deaf in your ears.
& how can I cry?

How can I cry
When I'm not the one that's hurting?

Author notes

quote:

"I cannot cry, because I know that's weakness in your eyes"
Because of You by Kelly Clarkson

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Silver Asylum
    September 14, 2008

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    Fantabulous

    I thought this poem was very beautiful. So well written, my only suggestion would've been to make the last line "When I'm not the only one that's hurting?", because from your previous stanzas, there does seem like there's a lot of pain coming from the speaker. But even if you decide not to change it, I think it's wonderful, the last two lines still being my favorite. Great write and good luck

    ~*~Zenity

    ****

  • Broken-Bones
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the Kelly Clarkson lyrics that you used as a prompt and I loved how you took it. I could really relate to this piece and the feelings of fighting back tears because of the others I have hurt and you captured the feelings really well. I loved your ending two stanzas with the repition of the line "How can I cry?". I also loved the line "Secrets, to cover what's better left unsaid.". Great work x


  • Nalyn
    June 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    -sheds a lone tear-
    D8 The last lines took me away.


  • myusikah
    June 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this. It's sad, and yet it's like you feel compassion for whoever you're addressing. I give this a 7/10 I wish you good luck!
    -->pia♫♪


  • FightOffYourDemons
    June 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this. It tells a story while obviously not really telling a story. I love the wording and the flow. It's so dark without seeming fake which is the problem i find with most "dark" poetry. I like the feelings. My favorite line is definitely "& I can only thank you enough
    With superfluous apologies.
    For putting you through so much."
    That and the whole first stanza are my favorite I think that they stand out best out of the whole poem.
    Thank you so much for entering my contest
    Good Luck
    Nikki



  • realist07
    June 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I THINK THIS IS YOUR BEST SO FAR I LOVE THIS "IN DARKNESS, ONLY SILENCE EXIST. MONSTERS JUST A DANGEROUS ILLUSION LIESM AN EXCUSE TO MOVE ON SECRETS, TO COVER WHAT'S BETTER LEFT UNSAID" VERY NICE STAZA "BUT YOU REMAINED BEND AND BROKEN ON THE EDGE OF SANITY YOU STILL REMAINED" ITS LIKE YOU ARE TALKING TO ME I SUFFER FROM BIPOLORA DEPRESSION AND PARINOID PESONAILITY DISORDER AND YET I STILL GRADUATED FROM COLLGE THIS IS A NICE PEIC


  • Blooming Poet
    May 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I agree this touched me also. I think you did very well with the prompt. I give it an 85%


  • warrior-eagle
    May 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Touched me.
    90%


  • warrior-eagle
    May 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Prompt:

    I cannot cry
    Because you know that's weakness in your eyes

    Because of you by kelly clarkson

1 - 9 of 9