Knockin' on Heavens Door (A Column on Christianity)

I was at a friends house the other day and eventually the conversation got around to religious belief and my friend asked if she could share with me her religious philosophy, I said 'Sure, go right ahead' and this is basically what she said.

A man died and went to heaven.  When he got there, St Peter or whoever happened to be on gate roster for that day asked the man 'Do you have God in your heart?' to which the man answered 'No', Saint On-Gate-Roster replied 'Have you been kind to your neighbor?' Man replies 'Yes' and the response was 'Well, then you've had God in your heart, come on through'

I looked at her for a second and said 'Well, I'm sorry, that philosophy has so many holes in it that if it was a boat it would sink faster than the Titanic'

Actually I didn't say that, I wanted to but settled with...

'Yes, to a certain extent thats true' trying to be diplomatic, 'But, can I ask you a question, what happens if one day you weren't kind to your neighbor'

She looked at me blankly.

'Ok, look at it this way, your having a crap day, your hubby's pissing you off (I know her hubby, so its possible) and your neighbor's overhanging tree has dropped one too many leaf in your pool, despite the fact you've asked him to cut it back several times in the last few months, without thinking and certainly without being kind you say 'For f*** sake, trim your f***en hedge cause if you don't I'm going to f***en trim it for you and make you eat the clippings' Well as it turns out, the reason Mr Neighbor hasn't trimmed his hedge is because in the last few months his son's been arrested for breaking and entering, his wife is dying with cancer and he's got laid off yesterday from the job he's been doing for 25 years, your unkind words are the last straw and he commits suicide'

Ok, so its a bit far-fetched but based on her philosophy what then....

Well I guess then it gets weighed up and, um you know you tried MOST of the time, and well, if you tried hard for long enough it could make up for the fact that you stuffed up that time and..........

I'm sorry but thats just way too complicated.

The fact is that most people think they are going to heaven because they are 'good' people, but how good is good? and if at a young age you totally stuffed up and say killed someone because you were drink driving, do you have to be a model citizen for the rest of your life to get into heaven?

So I explained my philosophy, 'I, like your chap, try to be kind to my neighbor, in fact I try really hard, but I need to know that if I stuff up, like really big time, thats not the end, according to the bible, Jesus took the wrap for my stuff ups so when I get to the pearly gates its a case of 'ok, yes you tried hard, but for those times you weren't kind to the telemarketer who was trying to flog you a mobile phone, or when you stole the bank pen, or when you lied on your tax form to increase your return, or when you shook that baby to death when you were 15 and you didn't know how to cope and when you murdered that man in a drug induced rage then you're still ok to enter BECAUSE you humbly realized that you'd stuffed up and you accepted that Jesus had taken the wrap for it' (please note: I've never shaken a baby to death or murdered anyone, although I may have stolen a bank pen or two) What you did on earth may adversely effect your future life on earth, and I'm not saying any of the above actions are ok, but we are talking eternal life here.

So what does this mean in relation to who gets to heaven?

Does that mean that the chap up the road who leaves every Sunday dressed in his 3 piece suit with the massive New International Extended Remix Bible with 3 pages of commentary per verse is going to heaven?  Possibly not!!

Does this mean that the teenager who got addicted to drugs after one wrong decision at 15, struggled with it for 10 years, stole and lied, broke his mothers heart and then died of an overdose, might get into heaven?  Possibly!! 

I could well imagine that in times of utter desperation many a drug addict cried out to God for help and forgiveness in the most humblest and sincerest of manner.

What it boils down to is this....

Step 1) Try your best
Step 2) Humbly accept that for the times you stuffed up, Jesus took the wrap (please note the word 'humbly')
Step 3) Pssst.. Pass it on

Just for the record, reading the bible, praying and going to church is not a prerequisite of step 2, but it does help a little with step 1.

It doesn't sound that complicated does it, it isn't meant to be, remember what Jesus said about accepting the Kingdom of God like a little child.  Last time I looked kids weren't that complicated.  The way some churches have re-complicated Christianity, however, is a column for another day. 

The whole 'I'm going to heaven because I'm a good person' is a lot more complicated than you think, it requires a lot of work and really at the end of the day, how do we know that our 'good' will ever be 'good enough'.