Almost every night
We argue about the same topic
&& quite frankly it's geting old.
So here, let me lay out my cards
On the table for you, open hand.
You say you have no intrest in anyone
They're just close friends. Sure.
I'll go with that, if it'll make you sleep at night.
But quite frankly. I see a slight problem.
You can lick yoru friends and call them love,
Yet I can't when you see it?
That ain't right.
So here. Since we're being honest.
Here. You wanna know something?
I'll tell you either way. So.
Shut up, sit down, and pay attention.
The last guy I put in every singel one of my poems.
I got fucked over with.
He ended up cheating on me mulitple times.
&& i trusted him as much as I trust you.
Everytime he saw me doing somthing he didn't like
&& tried controlling me? Yeah I gave him the same shit.
He left. He didn't want me going out with een my family.
He abused me and constantly lied. Yet.
I still trusted him with my life.
But all this arguign you and I do?
It brings up those old memories, && I'm trying not to let the past get to me.
By keeping it from you, so YOU didn't get offended.
But I guess that went flying out the damn window.
Didn't it?
The other night, I asked if it would make a difference
If I was there in person, if anything I've been saying wouldmatter then
Cause we all know right now it's just "words on a screen"
But I've been looking at colleges all over the Nation.
And I was gonna look at a few where you are.
Was gonna keep it a surprise just to see you && make you happy.
Which for me, means moving away ffrom what little family && friends I have.
&& it would have been ALL FOR YOU.
But you don't open up.
Yea fine, sure.
I like other guys too, not just you.
Is that what you wanted to hear?
Well if it was, there you go.
But hey.
You'll never understand me.
For the mere fact I am a female and a poet.
Not a music writer and theatre person like yourself.
I'm sorry that I may not be everything you want.
Sometimes it's if as you don't even give me the time of day.
&& you know what? Through all this pain i constantly feel.
I still love you. But you wouldn't know that. You don't believe it.
You believe you're a nothign, and that no oen will ever love you.
I've ehard it all before from you, hell, I've felt the same way.
But hey, I'm only me. I wouldn't understand.
Or so it seems.
The more we argue, the more I just want to walk away.
But even you need at least a friend.
I'm not perfect I never claimed to be.
&& I know I should change for anyone.
But if it made any differnce inthe damned world,
I would change for you. But that ain't enough.
Hell. I bet you didn't even know I cry myself to sleep at night
Because out everyone I know in this world
You make me feel like I'm actually worth something the most.
Even when we argue && banter. But I'm just some disease, apparently.
As some of yoru older friends have called me to my face in that chatroom.
Bet you didn't know that one either.
So there's your honesty.
believe it or not, that's your choice.
But if you don't believe that now I am in tears
From trying to prove myself to you.
Then maybe this isn't worth it afterall, and again I will have been fucked over.
But that's the chance I get for trying to love
Especially someone complicated like you...and myself.
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