used to make sand-castles out of mud, because i never saw the ocean/thats all i was ever really good at/making something from all the wrong things
i've left thousands of miles of birthday cake in my wake
writing notes on coffee-stained napkins/in run down diners
to remember my desert visions..... in a cool bed at night
it's eating you away, isn't it? why won't you make me queen for a day. my skin. paper-cup thi........n. scratching/screaming. the morning dew
diamonds in my crown. isis. why would you even try? who could ever
ruin me?
am not scared. lay in the dark with all the murderers and drunks and pick stars out of the sky like rubies & gems
someone will love me....................................................................................................................................
just leave me alone
.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Good thoughts here..Nicw write..enjoyed it..so nice.No big deal, but you have some punctuatio issues hereNo capital letters where they should go...See ya
John
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I dig this. Especially the miles of birthday cake, good line. This comes across as street-wise and observant. Good use of detail.
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Well the imagery and wording i pretty damn good I must say
However you forgot to put capital letters at the beginning of lines, and even left some I as lowercase i, so it detracted somewhat
Thanks
T
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Can not and will not need not apply. It is obvious you have got it all defined and being the first kid on your block is just a con job.
Everything that means anything we created on our own. The hardest job is often just finding someone woth sharing it with.
Love, Tom B.
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three more just because I am in the mood.
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I want to blow all the points off my poems, like dust off a transcendental book.
You set off my revolution,
you rebel. -
I don't understand the point system but I believe that I should give points freely with out contest.
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I'm feeling crazy!
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I must count more coins!
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void applause, tonight I am a slot, in Vegas.
I've a reverberating nerve, that has been struck
by a non-descript god. Krishna!
Krishna is a womb.
Krishna is not god.
Krishna is nature.
Learn to love your mother! -
Making something from nothing.
You may have left thousands of miles of crumbs but
I have less that ten miles of birthday cake behind me and
I am 2.666 times older than you!
Miles of highway; kid I like your poem!
Time is... real,
But what is the point?
I am a star 30 light years away
listening to your heart.
My hand brushes you
down your intended path.
Write me another poem!
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