[Lust at first sight]

Lust at first sight
Never about love, just a quick quicky.
A guy sees a girl and points
            “Oh yeah, I’d do her and her!
            God not her! But definitely her!”
A girl sees a guy and points
            “Oh wow, he’s so hot and so is he!
            Damn he’s ugly! But his friend’s sure not!”

Is anyone looking for truth these days?!
It just sickens every cell in my body
To the point of being hypotonic
At how the human mind manipulates
A feeling so pure for one so tasteless
True beauty disguised for those without eyes.

Hell then I wish I had no eyes
And perhaps no ears as well
For the misery of lustful youth
Is performing a malpractice to my brain
To where I’m so numb even thoughts decrease
Packing up and turning in their time sheets
Taking extended vacations in daydreams.

Love at first sight
Heh, an altered reality made just right
Surely there is no such thing these days
Since everything is related to sex-
Fruits, numbers, plastic bottles,
Commercial ads and cigarettes.
Love is pushed aside behind the stud’ly steers
Going unwanted by the rampaging herds
Who’ve already fill their hearts with greedful lust.

Yet I have my eyes and ears, it can’t be helped
Nor am I sure I would I want it to be
For even if I have to live in a world of flesh hungry
Self-centered nymphomaniacs,
Senses lost, his coincidental name I’d never heard
Or the sweet casual sound of his voice,
Seen the sincerity in his timely rusted eyes
And the smile that threw shivers down my spine,
An impression to never be forgot.

But even so, in love –believed not,
Just a hoax created for fairytales
Then brought to life with rolling films
A sci-fi original movie of a madman’s dying wish
Playing up to the very last frame
Giving the world something to equally envy
If they can even envy at all.

Yet still, his presence refuses to drown
Swimming through the cells of my mind
Along the nerves, touching every part of me
Awaking thoughts never before imagined,
Feelings unnoted in all of life’s trials
Allowing a mask of vulnerability to seep in,
Unwantingly, pressing against my very being.

He’s not like the others, cliché I know,
And cliché is all that he is.
His corniness surpasses all males and females alike
And yet somehow makes me laugh through tears
When nothing else is going right.
It’s an odd comfort to have him around,
And it’s odder still to be this happy with him here.
But his completely ruining my master plan.

All my life it’s been about striving
Outdoing my mother in everything
Going to college, staying above water
Never having to worry about bills and children,
Owning a working vehicle, food in the cabinets,
Not having to rely on males for a goddamn thing,
Not marrying four times to keep a roof overhead,
So how can he be part of my fate?

Fate, sim’mate.
Just another one of those words
That do nothing but hold people back,
Keeping this world in a dream of maybes,
Ifs, ands, buts, and all the rest in between,
Instead of just beating the made up system
Making their own futures, thinking for themselves,
But no, no, no… they like being mindless monkeys.

I’ve been one as well. I won’t lie.
Even bend back every now and then
To help a friend’s broken heart
And to clean up the disputes of others,
But as for my mind now, it’s closed to ghost feelings.
Real love is but faith and fate is a wish
For things to end the way you want them to in the end.
If I believed, I’d be a saint.

So then why does his voice shake me?
Why does my heart skip at his bare touch?
What is this cold depressing feeling when he’s not around?
Am I really that weak to believe in the infectious insanity
Thought of in ancient times?
God, just kill me now.
God. Ha.