I love to watch the young girls dance from my window.
Observing through my telescope as a man of leisure.
Clearly, not your average bored voyeur by any ordinary
means. You see I have a job to do here & it's murder.
My problem is not that I'm a pervert, or a psychopath.
Only that I need a ballerina when I take a bubble bath.
Stemming from this dream of me 'nuding' in a birdbath.
'Nuding' is getting naked with a motive by a window.
Someplace easily visible, to lure you your own psycho,
but not forced nudity, more at one's pace & leisurity.
That, coupled by the fact I'm anal retentive, is murder
in the first degree, but made to seem quite ordinary.
I know it's a tremendous burden being so extraordinary
when it comes to discovering new components for my bath.
Cleaning, and grooming, would be useless without murder.
There's just too much inspiration outside of my window.
Begging to be shown a thrilling kill, set by my leisure.
I will rewrite the definition of the West's best psycho.
I am out to create the most lethal invisible Neopsycho,
the world has ever tried to pigeon-hole as unordinary.
The pleasure of dying for me is a vacation of leisure.
Kind of like how I feel after a ballerina bubble bath.
Everyone’ll pay to let me see 'them' through my window.
We can even sell tickets to my dinner shows of murdero.
I know what you're thinking, "What's with him & murder?"
Maybe this guy is really a sociopath, or a real psycho?"
Because, I can read minds through bars, flesh, or window,
& I can turn your last days alive into something extraordinary.
With a gift horse's mouth, beware of my tempting bubble baths.
I want you to be drawn into drown in, but only by your leisure.
Passive aggressive manipulation accommodates my leisure.
My best asset's when it comes to the art form of love-murder.
I often go through many ballerinas for a proper bubble bath,
and this, by all means, is the joy in being a rich psychopath.
The immense pride taken in being abnormal & subordinary.
That & having so many beautiful clean apartment windows.
Such is this life of leisure behind every great psychopath.
A perfect murder should always be slow, simple, and ordinary
Take a chance on a ballerina's last window dance, try my bubble bath.
Author notes
WIKKID CLOWNS
Written December 20th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Fuck!ng help me before I explode (and yes, prewrites accepted) by Be My Rushmore.
500 points, ended October 24, 2005, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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well i am deffinately going to have to look up a "sestina" and find out how the hell to write one, im all about the difficulty factor in writing. its easy to put down a "free-verse" but to write something takes talent is a much better read. thanx for inspiring me horus!
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Okay...Wow! I had never learned how to write a sestina before today, you're right about the difficulty factor...I'm confident that I will be leaving a more in-depth comment here when the contest ends. See you on judging day!
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this is a very disturbing write.. i like this..its different.. beautiful but scary..lol.. great write! Good luck in my contest!
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that has to be one of the most disturbing things I've ever read...bravo! exellent! Job well done! I always love a good twisted poem. doesn't that tell you how weird I am...weird or insane...whatever works but anyways, it's not about me. The point of this is that it's a great poem and it I could paint i'd actually paint a picture for it. I could do something using hotoshop...ok i'm off topic sorry. Anyways, good write!
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Jesus...
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Splendid.
You should live in Bracknell, girls always dance outside windows in Bracknell as they are generally 14 and have no where else to dance... unfortuantely they will be fat and it will not be ballet but grinding to chav-esque drum and bass - they do need a bath though. -
Excellent
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Thanks for entering my contest, this poem is very different from the others people have entered. You've managed to get inside the characters head and give an insight into what they like and why. It was a very interesting read, slightly disturbing yet also very luring. I really liked this because of the subject you chose, its original and draws the reader in, you also have a contrast of the beauty of a ballerina and the horror of murder. Thanks again for entering <3 love Sophie
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This is very different yet a great write. I like how it shows ow the killer thinks. I really liked it. It is quite creepy knowing people like that really exist. you really brought it home and made me think about it. Thanks
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I'm putting you on my favourites immediately.
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Lol, oh come now Scott, we both know I'm a
cad. However, I do just simply love your
writing, well some of it. I'm sure you think
it's because I'm a Narcissistic sociopath
getting off on reading about myself in
your successful Horace chronicles (
though, they have absolutely squat
to do with me, because that guy's
actually you just injected with my
swaggering masochistic fluff, and
good looks, and name). Funny, how
the same people that read me, read you,
and read you spoofing me, although
it's really you subconciously riffing
off of your own bespattered love life
and tactfully redundant bad decision
making in your past. It all
makes me giggle like a school girl.
Fascinating really, like small
shaved dog in the bossom of
Swedish double d-denial, or
lapped like the Fonz, yes, the
Fonz --The Fonz -- Ayeeee.
Edited on Nov 06, 11:12 p.m. because ''. -
Thanks - high praise indeed coming form you. You are a swell guy and a credit to your race.
Scott -
You're as inventive as widowed yam.
I liked your romantic poem
the other day Scott, about waking up near
the one you love... Even if it was as
boring as a quadrapalegic harnessed
at a loom. -
this is like..csi disturbing..and if this shows up as one of their shows this season...im turning you in lol...great job.
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GOD this is beautiful and disturbing! There are times when an author comes along that just blows me away, this is one of those times. The perspective of a psychopath, though . . . despite the distressing imagery . . . I can't give you a trophy, it's just not a new perspective. But it's a beautiful poem, so I'm giving you some points anyways. Because I love it so.
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great sestina and very well written its kinda creepy i like that the whole lure them in and then kill them in the bath its awesome i dont think i have ever had this type of poem entered in my contests before as a matter of fact i know i havent
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I am laughing several times: Once at the preponderance of spelling and grammatical errors in this piece; again at the notion that this would in any way resemble a sestina once those errors are corrected; and, again at the very idea that, having killed a man (nay, more than one) any real human would be anything but humbled. Your arrogance is continually entertaining, if a little frightening.
Scott -
its a nice form you have used. this reminds me of that artist wh was always painting his wife in the bath...oh what was his name i cant remember ....hes very famous as well...and theres a rumour that he killed her in the bath and thats why he kept painting her. she was obsessed with havng loads of baths every day...... i really enjoyed this one and the murderer likes to be watched as well...very interestingk
Edited on Apr 23, 5:52 p.m. because ''. -
You've really made the sestina form work for you there, and it's very successful... Although there are a few small errors (you've not used "window" in the last verse, eg) This has been very well done! THanks for entering!
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I like vanilla, I want to be fluffy vanilla in my next life.
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as he pirouettes into the foamy red waters blowing graceful bubbles beneath the remnants of a tu-tu. another long soak for hsi penned up head to release the cycle path that allows him to pedal his fantasies in a clean and squeaky way.....I shall have to add more windows and perhaps move next to a dance studio to be enticed by the tippy toeing as I lie bare to all in the suds of my brewing bath...lol..Artis
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wow, thanks for entering this into my contest!
It's strangely twisted and very well written
anyways good luck in contest
---Rossy -
OK, having written a sestina myself now (friggin' evil, pure torture), I come back to read in a more educated way, and appreciate the artistry on a different level.
You want to read it don't you... it's fab. allpoetry.com/Poem/461045 -
awesome.. very twisted..much like some of mine.. great write.. good luck and thank you so much for entering.. .. good luck!.. latears* Jessie
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Fascinating.
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Great sestina. Can't find a flaw. You know your shit! I'm a ballerina, and you don't scare me!
Denise
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This is a sestina. One of the most difficult poems to write, look it up. This poem makes the poem that won the contest look sad, but not every one knows what a sestina is see. Most seem to be these weak minded twits cunting their thighs on ecstasy and pretending to live by pretending their dying? Reminds me of jerking off in someone elses shower; impolite but barely unnoticed. I however, am twenty nine and a half and have lived through that 15 year old nose blowing shit "I love the cure phase" and have killed a person, in Somalia, I helped evacuate the embassy in Mogudishu, and we shot quite a few actually, hundreds. And I can assure you, Ernest hemingway was right when he said, "A man isn't a man, until he gets up and travels to shoot some foreign men for some other men who he doesn't know, Shoots them dead."
Edited on Dec 26, 1:31 because ''. -
Good Stuff
Remember me? *evil laugh* No, for real though, this one I find funny, and I'm glad you can view life in a humerous light. Not all of us are so lucky. Seriously, in all my 40 or so poems I've ever written I've never been able to write a humerous poem, and believe me, I've certainly tried. I like this poem much more than the other one, but then again, maybe I'm just in a much better mood today!
Great job!
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A very strange poem, certainly out of the ordinary *grins*, there's something really charming about a psychotic sociopath that doesnt' even think there's anything wrong with what he's doing. And yet admits quite candidly that he is a murderer, I'm a little confused as to what he actually does with them, but then perhaps I don't really want to know *laughs* must admit I like this one somehow, it makes me laugh (sorry if it's not supposed to but I got a weird sense of humour somehow...)
I love the lines
"Everyone’ll pay to let me see 'them' through my window.
We can even sell tickets to my dinner shows of murdero."
It just makes me smile everytime, thank you ever so much for entering my contest and best of luck.
Sephiroth Hi No Tenshi
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