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The flower of love

Missing image
Roses and lilies so pretty and white
A gift that I chose for my lover
Displayed in a vase that she keeps by the bed
While she is displayed on the cover

The flowers are virginal pure as the snow
My love though is filled with desire
The beauty displayed by the blooms and her form
Seem quite certain to set me afire

I'll pluck my fair lily, the rose of my heart
And place her alongside my bed
For though I can't touch her I know she is mine
The flower I grew in my head

In a list

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • moonbumps silver member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    A most magical write filled with everything beautiful, touching, and tender...the scent fills my head..
    xxx


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    Jeff - no. I'm afraid not.

    The sentiment is perfect, and the form is good, but the last line is just pure bathos. The idea of a flower growing in your head - sorry - doesn't work, because of the visual image it conjures up.

    I know what you MEAN. You mean it grows in your mind (your thoughts) or your emotions (your heart). Either one of those would have worked 100%, but not without re-jigging the entire last stanza, I can see that.

    Sorry - maybe I am in a mean mood today, but I think you could have done better, bro, and I'm enough of a bitch to say so in public this time.

    Hugs anyway, and a bunny for the sentiment and the effort,
    M


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar gold member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    Ah..what a scenario you brought with your so beauriful poetry..I love the sweetness around..well done my friend...

  • PassionsPromise gold member
    May 11
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks so much for this lovely piece.

    It has made me smile. You have touched my dark soul with such a heated light. I may not be there but my love shall remain always within you.

     

    Upon the shelf of your mind

    i shall surely wait

    in a vase you'll surely find

    the rose thats in your fate.

    in your life i shall be

    forever and a day

    no matter what is planned for me

    i will love you anyway.

    I may crumble or i may die

    no one really knows

    Yet as i look you stright in eye

    passions within me grows.

    Thanks for making this day special.


    Love you Always

    Tory


    • cricketjeff gold member
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      The flowers that I have metaphorically placed by your bed so often are not you, I hope and strongly believe that you will outlive me, and I have no intention of dying for many decades yet.

      • PassionsPromise gold member
        May 11

        Edit | Reply
        I am here my dear as long as I have the will. Sometimes it takes the feel of these metaphorically flowers to touch one and remind them that the love is there no matter whether limbs are numb and unuseable, or whether the hair is gone, or the breath is barely there, you remained strong. Thank you Jeff.
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