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Two Hours in a Motel




 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Hours in a Motel

        

Don’t look at the mirror on the mattress.

Never mind the fifty-cent earthquakes, the

{ribbed for my pleasure} impersonality.

Never mind tomorrow’s tears, weeping

like lubrication for secret hinges.

 

These neon moments flicker like a sign -

heartache for $29.95, extra towels - $5.oo.

 

These blinds remain closed, dust on the hope

and the rules on the door avoid fidelity.

Rocky Raccoon opened the drawer I avoid

and he knew my hope, my release, like death.

 

He has spilled like cheap gin again, the

circles spin like glass-rings on the bureau

and I’m only two plastic glasses, a foil

wrapper, nothing, really.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     








 

Author notes

one hundred words on the nose.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • AJ Morelli gold member
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    a wonderful use of objects here Rob, i like the meanings you have found in these common items...

    a very strong write and entry...



    al

  • mantis180
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Night Hope singled out the most powerful line, "Never mind tomorrow’s tears, weeping
    like lubrication for secret hinges."

    Beautifully well done.

    -Ashes
  • I like how you weave old Rocky into this...


  • Rowan gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    Kate picked the line that caught my attention too! lol.
    Fifty-cent earthquakes indeed! Such a despondent feel to this at the end, the regret, the feeling of being less
    than on arrival.
    Such a great entry.
    damn. lol.


  • Night Hope gold member
    May 11
    Edit | Reply
    "Never mind tomorrow’s tears, weeping
    like lubrication for secret hinges."

    ~ * ~

    "circles spin like glass-rings on the bureau"

    These are three of the best lines in contemporary poetry, my dear Friend. What a visceral penning, Scribe. Good luck in Al's contest.


  • EvilKate gold member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    Another entry of excellence - AJ is not envied re his judgements required for this contesto. Not at all.

    "fifty-cent earthquakes" - so clever! Just one of many - loved it. Absolutely loved it

1 - 6 of 6