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the day came

the day came
you couldn’t take
the pictures in my head
so we screamed at each other
and kept screaming until
The Truth Came Out

so
these things are now at my back

the wind
the family home
with its white clapboard
and familiar smells
the past
and you



Author notes

Prompt - Family ties no more....

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • chordphrute
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    knowing full well it's not a real life story, I applaud you for your persona ability here...wonderful!


  • Dalaney gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    whew! The truth came out...and it felt like a knife severing the last bit of bond. Very powerful write, Mairi, and one I do think you will have many commenting on. Love, Lane


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      May 12
      Edit | Reply
      It's not a personal story, Lane, but one which inspired me to dig deep and go looking for emotions; and when I found them, to apply them to this situation. I think it worked, and though I don't think this is my best poem ever, I am very glad that you can see something good in it.

  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    They say you can choose your friends..... your words I find ring very true and I've seen many families crumble.

    An excellent poem...Sue


  • Amera gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry but I guess memories aren't all meant us bring happy thoughts. Many times the bring us feelings of self pity. Beautiful poem Sis!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Sagerider
    May 12

    Edit | Reply

    Great but sad

    Great write. I love it and I can relate. It has been hard to keep in touch with everyone now that mother has passed. She was the ribbon that held the family together. Thank God we don't fight.


  • SuicidalLover gold member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    Well congrats to you on following the rules. I'm very impressed.

    your poem speaks of anger. Something was said and family ties broke. I'm sorry for that, but you'll get a better one in time. I wish you well.

    Thanks for entering and following the rules.
    ~Kystal Angel

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      It's not a real-life story; I dug deep to see if I could find similar emotions and a scene to put them in (also I drew a little on the manga picture), and this is what came out. Something about the contest appealed to me, so I thought I would have a go.

  • NeonRose silver member
    May 11
    Edit | Reply
    Powerful and precise. I like this a lot!


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      Power and precision are god to aim for in a piece of writing like this. Thank you.

  • cricketjeff gold member
    May 11
    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful writing, and perfectly captured, not bad, not bad at all!

1 - 12 of 12