the incessant
erratic
mad metal monkey drumming
from the AC
makes me count the shadows
on that bare wall
as the lamp
takes over from the daylight
Gideon burns a hole in the drawer
for the word of God is quick and powerful
and sharper than any two-edged sword
piercing even to the dividing asunder
of soul and spirit and of the joints and marrow
and is a discerner of the thoughts
and intents of the heart
and I am waiting
naked in mind and body
for the daylight
to dim the lamp
and for an excuse
to shower
In a list
A contest entry
- Woman in a motel by AJ Morelli.
2000 points, ended May 27, 25 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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congrats on the hm - this poem is very unique..
and your imagery is so interesting...
"as the lamp
takes over from the daylight
Gideon burns a hole in the drawer" ..I love that
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Certainly the best title of the contest... a sharp, tight piece with plenty of room for the reader, i like this...
thanks for entering it here
al -
Excruciatingly delicious!
Well done like perfect toast and jam with not too much butter... DW
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Enjoy your breakfast.
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lol..the mad metal monkey..he's been in my room once or twice.
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... and yet the AC rattles, and we don't call maintenance. We don't even go over and kick it!
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We have both entered this contest and we have both mentioned the bible...simpatico, cousin,
Of course, you outshine my entry and your title is killer 
This is a stunning write, and one I'm sure AJ will agree with me on. Love, Lane
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Y'know, you and I won't get very far in our writing if we spend all our time telling each other that the other one's poetry is better than our own.
Five'll get ya ten a few more people have mentioned the Bible in this contest, too.
Anyhow, as always, i am glad you liked this.
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Love the ending, the whole write actually! Well done.
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Thanks, Rowan.
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I had been pondering entering this contest but this and a few other writes make me lay down my pen in deference to greater talent! I love the brimstone feel you tucked in between the sheets here!
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It's always worth having a go!
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Sleepless nights, thoughts of being alone and a statement of faith all penned in a sad verse. Here's a hug
Love,
Amera♥
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Thanks, Sis. I think I'm proud of this poem.
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Cool, written in a very contemporary manner, and excellently worded. Love the title!
Bill
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At last someone has called a poem of mine "cool"!
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I have been in that motel, mine was just South of Rochester, NY. If you stay for a couple of weeks after a business trip the quality of the rooms goes down fast!
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