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The straight road

 

Each night

I journey by train

 

to places

I cannot go

 

to see people

I cannot see

 

it's a straight road

and a long one

 

but I took 

the train

to

the moon

 

just to see

 

you. 

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Rowan gold member
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    Simple, but effective.
    I liked this.


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    Hey well, can you stop in texas before you hit the moon? Id miss you if you left me behind.

    Love ya
    Passions


  • NeonRose silver member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    Each night
    I journey by train
    to places
    I cannot go
    to see people
    I cannot see

    This is golden! A thousand poems could be written using these as a prompt! The one you have penned to follow is a wonderful example.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful piece of free verse from the best rhymer that I know...you'll have to be careful, you'll get a reputation amongst the opposition

    All the best

    Sue


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    May 11
    Edit | Reply
    Ooh now THAT's a novel approach, bro.

1 - 5 of 5