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Jim

If murder were legal,
you'd so be long gone.
You are not my brother;
just my mother's son.

No longer my family,
'cause you're an ass.
and this hate for you;
it is spreading fast.

Fucked without intercourse;
that's what Momma says.
You are such a prick,
Everyone hates your ass.

Author notes

I was just pissed off so here we go
My brother is telling lies about me to our mom trying to make her mad at me. I am glad my mom knows better but it still makes me mad

option 3

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • piccola silver member
    August 16, 2008

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    what does this have to do with being bi-polar? It is filled with anger and hate. More of a vent really, but I see to relationship here with bi-polar disorder.

  • Judith Chandler
    August 15, 2008

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    It always amazes me the anger that can grow and fester in families. Hate once germinated is hard to uproot and, yes, there truly are some assholes and some of them occur "in the best of families" as my old Grandma used to say.

    I enjoyed your write.


  • Lsh-x
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.

    Looks like your brothers a badd'un.
    This is such a powerful write, I can really feel your hatred. Don't let it mess you around sweetie.

    Thanks for entering.

    Good luck.


  • xwarriorXprincessx
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    my condolences

    sounds like you have scum for a brother, there.

    i don't blame your anger at all! i hate it when people fail to be considerate of others. what kind of personal benefit is making someone else feel like shit, that's all i'd like to know.

    i hope the wounds of this anger heal quickly, friend. best wishes.


  • innocence jaded.xx
    July 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Woo ! I really liked this! So full of raw emotion and anger and HATE. Niccce. Every once in awhile you need to rant and vent through poetry, and this was done excellently. haha. I liked this alottt. Thanks for entering & best of luck to you ! ♥


  • callmeZakk
    June 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ouch at least your mom is smart enoughto see the truth behind him


  • XXxXBassMeisterxXxX
    June 1, 2008

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    Intense. I liked it overall but the background didnt fit too well. I am a very astetic person. I like how you called your brother "your mother's son" It was a very strong and powerful write.


  • melphleg gold member
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Certainly intense in its angry expression of hate. Very raw and very open.


  • XHollowXEyesX
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow what an intense piece.I love how you kept it short, adds to the hatred towards your 'mother's son' as it seems that you didnt want to make it into a long piece because he isnt worth writing about.
    awesome use of language.
    I especially love the line
    'You are not my brother;
    just my mother's son.'
    Thankyou for entering
    All the best
    ~Hollow~


  • crimsondew
    May 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write with good imagery on the prompt...
    sorry your brother can not see better sense, but really glad your mother can!


  • Lotus-Mama
    May 16, 2008

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    This was great, the anger is evident- but also has a cleansing feel! I especially love the lines:

    "You are not my brother;
    just my mother's son."


  • SuicidalLover
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah...sibiling rivialy. I'm glad you entered. It's a great write. I asked and you gave. Thank you.

    ...ne way I will give you a chance. You need to put the prompt in the AN as well. If you don't I will remove the poem.


    ~Kystal Angel


  • toomysterious
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Family dynamics really suck sometimes, but like they say you don't get to pick your relatives. I liked some of your phrasing very much, esp. you are not my brother just my mothers son". Good job.


  • BehindTheShadow
    May 10, 2008

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    I agree with the advice. Suck should be such, but I can feel your anger oozing out, none the less. Warm wishes in the contest.


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    suck maybe should be such...Just an idea. This was indeed a pissed off piece. Thanks for sharing and best of luck

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