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Choked



Precious pulse 
     sputters;

            death 
        regurgitated.


Author notes

Prompt: knife

Five words only!

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • Jalalbad gold member
    July 20
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    something to ponder on indeed!


  • DogFish silver member
    June 20
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    ...I'm thinking , I'm thinking!


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    February 21
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    Pretty intense piece here, Bel...well done
    Wishing you light and love
    Sandy


  • honey bear
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    a short but very expressive and imaginitive write, i havent been on to read in a while and i am sure there are many treasures to be found among your pages and my other favourites


  • FifthDove
    September 13, 2008
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    I got a lot of imagry from these 5 little words


  • catz Moderators member
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This brings forth deep imagery and emotion, Belle. You've expressed much in these five words.
    Dee


  • Moons Lunar Angel
    June 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • warrior-eagle
    May 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was really well done.

    ...Simply Me♥


  • poetryality silver member
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness! All the imagery, emotions, sense of pain... in five words. Brilliant! I read this three times, and got three different perspectives. I can feel the piercing here.

    I Love YOU ♥

    Mom

  • ksenia juggalette
    May 18, 2008
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    very nice!

  • silverfish
    May 16, 2008

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    pithy. i like the separated pairings, reinforces the severing, cutting action of the sharp end of a blade. -silverpiscean


  • Malabu
    May 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i missed commenting on this...I like where you went with this....and says so much in so few... Bel


  • Karsis
    May 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this...
    A lot..
    I suppose I normally use too many words,
    Because, where mine didn't,
    This feels complete.
    Well done.

    -Saint


  • Blooming Poet
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW, this is amazing. I am in complete and total awe. You said so much with only 5 words. I wiish I couuld write like this.


  • blackday
    May 11, 2008

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    Ewww. This poem was sick. The word regurgitated pops this vivid vision of like, blood showering from someone's neck. Sick. But great.


  • Tangled Angle
    May 11, 2008

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    i love the word 'regurgitated'. haha
    good luck in the contest.


  • sailor ptolema
    May 11, 2008
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    wow. this was powerfully ripe with visual imagery. Superb job.!


  • tainfinite
    May 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    taiinfinite

    life, losing life, and death, givin in a panoramic veiw, stunning


  • Age of Rain
    May 10, 2008

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    NICE. These five words were rife with imagery. Your use of "regurgitated" was phenomenal. I loved this!


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    May 10, 2008

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    Wow Bel

    Five words and you have really captured the idea of the title and I can really see how it relates to the word prompt. I don't know if I would be able to do it in five words


  • SuicidalLover
    May 10, 2008

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    Oh...very nice choice of words there missy! I congradulate you. *claps* I wish you luck!
    ~Kystal Angel


  • luna-midnight gold member
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, i really liek this, its awesome. lovely write and i can feel the dread, yay!
    take care and good luck
    stephanie

1 - 22 of 22