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Forbidden Fruit

Feelings are emerging
I can't hold it in
I have to find reason
Not to taste the sin

The feelings are churning
Making me feel weak
This forbidden fruit
Is what I'm meant to seek

I just want a taste
Of what you have to give
Embrace the feeling
Of what it's like to live

Author notes

prewrite about love....

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    September 15

    Edit | Reply
    The feelings are churning
    Making me feel weak
    This forbidden fruit
    Is what I'm meant to seek

    nice reference. thank you for entering and good luck in the contest i hope to see you in the next round


  • Carly Pop gold member
    September 1
    Edit | Reply
    thank u for your entry


  • perfectsunset gold member
    September 1

    Edit | Reply
    Very good rhythm/rhyme here.
    I enjoyed this piece.

    Best of luck & thanks for entering


  • Antebellum
    August 1
    Edit | Reply
    Simple rhyming..this is a wonderful write.
    thank you for taking the time to enter,
    good luck.


  • ladybug.
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Nice subtle rhyming(: I usually dislike rhyme, but I'm not regretting my choice to let it in to this contest. Thanks for sharing


  • cybilseyes silver member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    thanks you for sharing this.. a short and to the point work that was great! Thanks for your entry!
    xo
    Cyb

  • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    i loved this! it was really good! i enjoyed reading this. keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • forbidden-colour
    June 17

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for entering!

    One thing I did find interesting is your reference to the Bible and the Book of Genises where Eve eats the "forbidden fruit"
    Nice twist!

    Thank you for entering!
    Take care,
    Sophie.


  • The cliche typo
    June 14
    Edit | Reply

    lovley titele

    (i need to know wich option this is before i give a real comment)


    • Leanna-bean
      June 14
      Edit | Reply
      done

      • The cliche typo
        June 14

        Edit | Reply

        ok wonderful

        it is (as i said before) a lovley title- the poem realy makes you think- it is defenatly on the finalist list


        (a note for the all of your poems enntered in my contest- i wont add any poems to the finalist list if i dont know wich option it is based on)


  • innocence jaded.xx
    June 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, and could you please put the option number in your author's notes ? Thank youuu

  • innocence jaded.xx
    June 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, incredible write. I can relate so much, and your words were amazing. I know how this feels, so I can relate. Absolutelyy stunning :]

    "The feelings are churning
    Making me feel weak"

    Mhm, those lines really stood out to me. The definite emotion and a twist of love linger between those lines. Very great write. Thanks for entering :] <3


  • Blooming Poet
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you know for me this is very well written. the use of forbidden fruit made t sound like Adam and Eve, but you know thats okay, it makes the reader think and ponder oveer the poem. I really enjoyed this poem.

  • loving
    June 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is truly amazing! i mean, it captures exactly what i was looking for!


  • crazymomma
    June 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I liked the tone of this one. We all have the same desires at times. Temptation is very alluring.


  • Pretty Britty
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this. It's short and simple yet I can really feel the forbidden desire in this piece, unlike a lot of the epics that I've been shown. I think you really hit the prompt right on the head! Well done!

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