You fill my screen,
eyes sealed in concentration,
lashes feather the freckles
of your cheek.
Watch the shy smile
graffiti my mind,
strain each sense to
connect this dance towards
our inevitable.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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there's nothing wrong with the poem..it's nicely done as the way it is..vivid image of the image that you wanted to show..wonderfully written!
Keep penning!!!
Lieu
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Good poem. Beautiful in its own, yet the last three lines are a bit confusing. The way the were broken up is a little hard to follow. Other then that This is really a very good write. I enjoyed reading it,
Stephanie -
Hi. I’m that critic you asked for.
Let’s see. No spelling errors.
Complete thoughts. Good punctuation.
Recognizable story.
Sorry. It looks good to me.
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Very interesting write
....I enjoyed this very much, thanks for sharing it,
Luck. -
Excellently done.
Thank you for entering my contest
Delila
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