Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Shades of destiny

Shades of destiny
Hangs in the air
With its eyes open
For who to touch now

Clear low voices
Whispers in the wind
To tell my future
Foot where to land

It touches through the rain
It screams through the storms
It points through the clouds
And in the sunshine, it is silent

Author notes

Just saw the contest already ended. Ooops. But, it's already written, so I post it anyway

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    June 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the shades of destiny hanging in the air...waiting to caress its victim when all is unaware...its clear voice whispering on the wind showing it's power for all to see and feel...I really like this! Niaish so much for sharing with me and congrats on the HM


  • Angelflower
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this.. The idea behind your words is very moving and in-depth.. The flow was nice and the words that you used to describe destiny was really nice.. You did a wonderful job and congratulations for the Honorable Mention it was well deserved!
    I hope to read much more from you in the near future!
    Keep up the great work!!


    Angel


  • Zoe2007
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Clear low voices
    Whispers in the wind
    To tell my future
    Foot where to land"

    i really think this bit is amazing . Its very deep and moving . Amazing write


  • Perception
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very good... I like your idea of destiny touching people. Though, watch out for the double use of the word next. Next has a weird ring to it, and it stands out if you use it like that. Try replacing it with another word, so it's not so awkward....

    Anyways. This is good -- Hopefully you get into the judging
    Best of luck

    • LadCoberst
      May 10, 2008

      Edit | Reply

      Thanks!

      Ahhh. After searching with my eyes for five minutes on where to reply a comment, I felt pretty dumb when I finally found it! (I'm new on the site

      But anyways, thank you very much for your critics. I agree very much with you in that. English is my second language so my words stumble alot

      And also thank you for the kind words!

      Cheers, Lad

1 - 5 of 5