A Letter

May 10, 2008
100 miles from misery
On a street that sings to the sky,
I greet the day and forget your face,
With one last kiss goodbye.

Dear Sir,

          I grow curious about you every now and then. I cannot help myself; the nature of a dreamer is to wonder. I would like you to know, that I have grown in ways you could not have imagined. While I cannot give you one speck of credit for any of the developments in my recent but oh so fantastic good fortune, I can thank you for helping to sharpen my wit, and softening my heart in much the same way as one might tenderize a steak. My future is looking bright and now that my disposition has exited the clouds, I can see that your leaving was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. I shudder to think where my life would have ended up, had you continued ripping at the threads of my spirit. I don’t doubt you still have pieces of my livelihood stick in your teeth, but please, keep them. Those very small extrusions of my former self are as close to me as you will ever again be.
        Forgive me, for I know I sound spiteful, but my disgust for you will not allow me any other voice. I was naive, in buying into your cleverly spun farces, but I cannot say I regret it heartily. I learned more through your elaborate deception, than I would have through years of ill conceived lies. I am almost grateful for the way my lessons came about (as the situation could have been much worse) but the thought you who you really are ruins any positive spin I could put on it.
        I have questions that I imagine, will always remain unanswered. My heart, however, will be filled tenfold. (The scars have almost disappeared.) I still give you more credit than you’re worth, and while I’m still annoyed, I am no longer hurting. You are by far, the most selfish human being I have ever met in my life, but I am glad to have met you and gotten it over with. I’m sure the other self-absorbed maniacs I will come across will be grateful to know they are not the worst case.
        Should we meet again, make sure to remember that you have no claim to me. There was a time when I would have given you everything, but you ruined it with your pointless lies. Had you known me at all, you would have realized that I could have loved you through whatever you were hiding. I could love a slug, were it the right one, (Though I currently abhor the creatures.) That you thought you had to keep anything from me, speaks volumes about your self worth.
        I do not wish any harm to come to you. Though I will never again be a part of your life, or you mine, I desperately hope that you come to know the God I often spoke of. His grandeur extends exponentially, and His love makes my heart beat in rhythms I never thought possible. I will be praying for your safe return to The Kingdom, and from this point forward, I will think of you fondly. Not as a person, but as an idea of what a person might be, were they not afraid of whom they truly are. There is a bit of the man I loved inside of you somewhere, that I do not doubt. Do the world a favor, and let yourself be free enough to live that way in your real life.

By forgiving you, I’ve freed myself.

-Georgi