There's a girl that sits in the front of class,
With her hair tied back and a book in her lap.
Hiding in plain view from judgmental stares,
Although, despite her paranoia, no one really cares.
There's a girl that comes off cold and mean,
But she just doesn't know how to say what she thinks
Or to tell them she's there for hugs and kisses
When life gives us a hard break and throws a few misses.
There's a girl who has ink stains on her hands
From writing words with her pen way too fast,
And her glasses are almost always askew
Because she's always running to where she's getting to.
There's a girl with a genuine smile shown to a few,
Though some have glimpsed at it a time or two,
And a laugh that she tries not to let out too often
Though it brightens her eyes, and her sharp edges soften.
There's a girl with a temper that's mellowed a bit,
But her tongue's still as sharp as her wit.
And she's not afraid to let the fire rage
When she thinks she's found a justifiable case.
There's a girl who tries to be there for her friends
In the only way that she has learned to defend:
By standing by them, or walking behind the crowd
So that they, at least, can let their guards down.
Author notes
EDIT: tried to clean up the rhyming scheme, because we all know it drives me insane.
I'm glad to see so many people seem to like this, despite the erratic thoughts I had throughout writing this. But looking back at it, it's time it got the attention it deserves. Any suggestions? Let me know, but not promising I'll use them all.
A contest entry
- A fresh start for my world of poetry by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
300 points, ended June 10, 29 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honest, critical, and specific critiques please.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I really liked this, I thought that the rhyming scheme was fine for the most part!
it's great just the way it is nontheless.
well done!
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Very deep, babe. I loved it.
:]] -
She sounds like a girl anyone would be lucky to call their friend. i recognize some of myself in this girl.
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The last stanza is my absolute favorite... it resonates so strongly... it almost echoes as you finish reading
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this is a beautiful write one that I can connect to and one that I could image within my mind. you have written with such a deep intense feel of emotion that I truly found griping and real within your words well done
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That's beautiful! I was able to see my girlfriend in that! She is very similar to the poem. She is a great person once you get to know her; she just has to LET you get to know her. Very relatable, and a wonderful write!
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Wonderful
This poem was really good! I enjoyed reading it and in some cases, thought that it was describing myself. I like the idea of portraying the same girl, or a bunch of different girls, depending on how you look at it.
*There's a girl who has ink stains on her hands
From writing words with her pen way too fast*
Those were definitely my favorite lines. I loved the imagery portrayed in this! It gave the poem strength and depth.
Awesome job, as always,
<3
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I'm glad you liked it :]
I'm surprised people do, actually xD;
I kept seeing so many errors as I was writing it
But looking at it from a different angle, I can understand
How everyone's just trying to do their best, but don't know how.
And don't get a chance to from themselves or anyone else
But look at me, babbling away. xD;;
Anyways, thanks for the comment :]
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Sounds very familiar... I felt like I was reading myself. I bet a lot of people can relate to this. Well written.
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(this one was only 30 lines...lol)
i liked this one. it was flowed like, amazing. rhymed well. and it was pretty. <3 but sad.
lovelovelove you.
<3jules
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Dude. I'm like.. getting really mad at my writing
I changed the rhyming pattern like, 2/3 of the way through ><;;
Dude, are we trying to see how much shorter my poems will get?
5-4-3-2-1!!! XDD;;!
Glad you liked it though :]
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I like it and enjoyed reading thank you
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