Gone refrained mentally untamed.
Straight jacket legs shackled in chains.
Drugged... padded floor spinning.
Dots, colors, then drug is beginning.
Fearing sleep consensually in dreams.
Staying awake scared to know what’s happening.
Intruders I see, coming through the door.
Dressed in white, holding me to the floor.
Echo of sounds, I cannot hear what their saying.
In my arm a sharp prick, then I feel pain.
That jacket is gone the shackles is off.
I can not move I am lost.
Fighting sleep my eye’s they are rolling back.
I then try to get up,thenI fall,face down flat.
Author notes
This is all none true... but it can happen to you.. JackReed3... e n g l a n d g i r l 2 0 0 8.
A contest entry
- Pain You Can't Explain And More by BlackBloodyRose.
499 points, ended May 22, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I've gone insane! Prewrites contest!! by Englandgirl2008.
550 points, ended April 24, 155 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Is this a good Poem??
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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wow
this was...yikes
idk what to say -
A sad tale, well told, of a troubled soul in a nightmare situation which could befall any of us.
If I could just be uber-critical, I'd suggest 'shackles are off', or just 'shackles off', and perhaps the opening words ( 'gone refrained' ) are a bit vague.
A harrowing tale, I enjoyed reading this.
PJ
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definate potential!
I really am getting great emotion from all these writes so far, and this one is deifnately no different, and I liked the situation you describe, but for somereason I'm not super crazy about the rhyme scheme, again, I'm liking your use of words here, so good luck! -
umm
um not exactly wut i was looking for but very good. i like the imagery -
YES
it's sad but so good
i like the last part:
That jacket is gone.. the shackles is off.
I can not move.. I am lost.
Fighting sleep.. my eye’s are rolling back.
I try to get up.. then I fall, face down flat.
Good job
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