My pocket-watch tells me it's ten to three,
The moon peers though a silver tinted shroud.
The sounds of darkness softly come to me,
But demons seem to say no sleep allowed.
The second hand sweeps slowly through its course
While all the world lies motionless in bed
And driven by a dark unspoken force
Unwelcome thoughts are living in my head.
Then beauty strikes a blow against the night,
A blackbird sings a burst of magic gold.
The worries that had gripped me take to flight
And soft contentment starts to take a hold.
He sang his song at night in harmony,
To serenade his love, and comfort me
In a list
A contest entry
- 'Pour me a Sonnet' by Cynthia Gaines.
1200 points, ended August 6, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Insomnia by LaylaLace.
1000 points, ended September 3, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shakespearean Sonnet Competition: "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY. by Vera Rich.
490 points, ended June 15, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lyric Prompt ~ The Beatles, Blackbird by Xianaria.
900 points, ended July 22, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Lovely imagery, nice rhyme pattern! I see that this was a PW, so I'm guessing you got it in as I was editing the page...No matter at this point, nice write! Best wishes in the contest!
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you totally have my vote!
this is so well said and it rolls off the tongue beautifully! the rhyme was not daunting in any way but lovely instead!
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How the hell do you sleep in a waistcoat? That is the function of a waistcoat, to hold the pocket watch, correct? If you get in some pajamas, and come read something lame and boring, like my poetry, you'll go right to sleep...
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Overnight you put your pocket-watch on a watch-stand
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Beautiful...overcoming darkness and evil. Wonderful write. Blessings.
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Further to my previous comment: do be careful about the difference between "to lie" and "to lay".
For, according to conventional usage, it should be "lies" not "lays" in line 6.
For "To lie" is intransitive; "to lay" (which is its "causative" twin, meaning "to cause to lie") is transitive and therefore needs an object. For example, one LAYS a wreath on a grave, a hen LAYS an egg, etc. One LAYS DOWN a burden. In slightly archaic usage, one can LAY oneself down.
But for intransitive use,, the present tense verb is LIE(S).
(I am referring here to the present tense only... The situation is complicated by the fact that the past tense of LIE is also LAY.)
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I do like this one ...
a lot.
I don't know if blackbirds sing at night or not (although I would think that it would dangerous since owls fly at night). However, that's immaterial to the real point, which is that this is a delightful poem.
Good luck in the contest.
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We have 3 pairs of blackbirds (2 in back garden one in front) and 2 of the mails sing at night. And it is stunningly beautiful when they do
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I'm sure it would be ...
and hopefully you have no owls.
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A nicely written piece... I am a little worried about the ornithology ..DO blackbirds ever sing at night. Still, Wordsworth erroneously called the greenfinch a green Linnet - which does not prevent the poem in question being one of my favourites!
(Later). On reading this again, it comes to my mind that "silver tinted" should, perhaps, be hyphened: "silver-tinted". Or perhaps you dislike hyphens? -
I don't feel I have the right to comment on your poetry. I could tell you how brilliant your words are, but they shine for themselves. I could tell you that the words chosen are perfect in rhyme and flow, but again they speak for themselves.
I love your poems. I think you may be the top of the list favorite of mine.
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That is extremely kind of you to say so, but I would hate to think anyone felt unable to comment. I try my best and i love it when people like what i write but please never feel unable to tell me if there is something that doesn't work for you, because I really do want to know
thanks again.
Jeff
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is this a font for the visually impaired? do you also publish in brail? hehe. brilliant write though jeff. descriptively harmonic and flavoured Emma
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By the way, I'm a confirmed insomniac, especially after the home invasion I suffered through years ago: they entered while I was sleeping.
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What a beautiful sonnet! The second line is wonderfully realized! "A blackbird sings a burst of magic gold" Bravo!!!!!
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I clicked on your "Featured" contest link assuming it would be a poem. I figured that since I had spent your points (and the contest was not really one that I felt I would be competent) the least I could do was check out another one of your poems (something that is always a pleasure anyways.)
This is absolutely stunning!! The message, the imagery are beautiful, and I've come to look at your poems as lessons in rhythm and meter.
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Excellent sonnet, I have felt these Demons in the early hours many times
Well done Sir.
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I bet you have mate
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Quite lovely. Full of imagery and depth. My favourite lines are these:
Then beauty strikes a blow against the night,
A blackbird sings a burst of magic gold.
The demons that had gripped me take to flight
And soft contentment starts to take a hold.
Superb and beautiful.
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Lovely imagery. Good luck in the contest!
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A very beautiful sonnet with such wonderful imagery and an inspirational message.
Congratulations on your trophy.
Gaylene
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A Powerful Message...
And a very richly crafted sonnet!!! Thank you for entering my contest, and I wish you the best of luck!!! Peace, Cyn
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you are brilliant with your sonnets! This has so much emotive power!!
I love this: "A blackbird sings a burst of magic gold" I can picture the bird singing!..Just lovely
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once again im overwhelmed. Lane said it all then again doesnt she always
Love
passions
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I'm going to have to start a new file just for my favorites
of yours. This is wonderful, Jeff. The opening line is
an immediate eye grabber, and the rest just pulls us along
effortlessly. Bravo. Love, Lane
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Wonderful sonnet with great meter and flow. I love how you impress a depressing thought into the reader's mind and then use the Volta to turn it all into a feeling of hope.
Love,
Amera♥
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