With glaring eye and staggering gait
he trod into the peaceful village.
A man~beast in pitiable state,
I ran to the well and drew water.
He quaffed the liquid and eyed me smart
as curious onlookers gathered.
It seemed as if he could see my heart
and the crowd seemed to sense it also.
"You are the orphan, Zee, are you not?
A caravan slaughtered all but one
an overlooked tiny, helpless tot. "
"Yes Sire," I breathed sinking to his feet.
His hand on my head, his voice surged out
"Daemons walk this earth as I speak!"
Faces paled and wide eyes looked about,
as if thoughts could become flesh forthwith.
Under his hand I trembled in fear
he roared eternal conflict of forces
and warned us all with a mien austere
the wrath of He Who Coughed Up The World.
His wild hair and rough garments tattered
blew about from a cold vicious wind,
we huddled close while our teeth chattered.
Unclean spirits chilling us at dusk.
Colors of silence weighed heavily
as he swooned with the fast coming night.
Torches were lit and brought in a hurry,
stout arms rushed him to bed at the Inn.
Warm blankets piled upon his frail form
bringing a bowl of broth, I sat down.
Men talked, whilst the wind became a storm.
I begged them post guards and let him rest.
Seventeen summers dreading the day
when disaster might again strike me,
only one obstacle bars the way
that I might fulfill my destiny.
"So, expose The Master's Plan would you?
Mortal bones" I danced in girlish glee.
Laughter wove the ragged robes anew
and they became his funeral shroud.
The bowl of poisoned soup sat empty
the guards found me weeping bitterly.
Silence, his unfinished prophecy.
The witch covers her face demurely.
A contest entry
- Round #5762 - Oration of the Mad Prophet!!!!! by Great Cthulhu.
525 points, ended May 17, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Brutally honest comments please.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwww i totaly loved this poem i've read all of yours and with some slit editing you could publish a book seriously great great great lol trully inspiraing sorry for mii spelt word i'm typing very fast and dont tend to spell check love you maddison


-
Excellent
So very well expressed. A terrific creation. Congratulations on the honorable mention.

-
Alas...
I regret not "seeing" this sooner (no pun intended, yeah, right...) in our contest.
This was so excellent that I was torn between two thoughts, the first that I doubted your honesty in plagarism, and the second being my deep shame in impuning your honor (knowing full well that you are indeed capable of such articulate expression). Please consider this the product of my own jealousy and covet of your ability.
I admit without reserve that you have beaten me in this competition, but am in wonder that you did not take at least the silver.
Two minor edits: extra spaces before the punctuation on lines 2 and 22.
A fantastic piece, and I dig the stony background!

-
Nice to see this one again!
-
wow, outstanding imagery and depth in this! (deserving of higher trophy IMHO)....kept me interested all the way through. Very enjoyable.
Great job with this!

-
Congratulations on getting a trophy! Personally I would have given you a higher place trophy
You write so eloquently and I appauld you on your work. You are a talent, don't ever stop writing!
It was a honor to read
Sara Dawn


-
A thrill to read!


-
Impressive!
An excellently dark write you've penned here. I enjoyed your rhyme scheme, the story and the imagery utilized. I like to see proofreading before submission. You have a few errors in punctuation (in your third and 10th stanzas). Keep your pen to the page and thanks for entering! -
-
Thanks for the HM, Cthulhu
I've edited the third and tenth stanzas accordingly
I once worked as a typist and proofreader for a newspaper, lolol. It's much harder to proof your own work! Ach weil, mein liebchen.
-
-
I always admire the ones that can write the story poems. I know how hard it is to make these kind of poems flow and you did a beautiful job at making this read nicely off the tongue. Great work.


-
Wow, quite a picture you have painted.I really like how those who knew, yet still cast him as a threat. A great bit of wordsmithing here.

1 - 11 of 11











